A Case Study on Fear
July 7th, 2012
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Author: Hi everyone! I’m answering emails right now and several lessons are popping up. I want to share with you an email I got today – name edited out – so that you can see how to recognize your own fears and what to do to get past them.
Here is the email I got – I’m separating it into two parts because there are two fears present here:
No matter where I have turned or even discover how genuine some peeps are (you being one) I still get OFFERS galore (some of which I buy) once I have touched base with them. That provides me with ‘products’ and choices which then overwhelms me…….because I still don’t really know how to set up my IM business and in what direction to proceed. Nobody seems to tell you that! However, I have lots who try to get me on their ‘Membership’ site so they are my Mentor…….I even have monthly payments going out of my bank for all sorts that I dare not leap into for fear of commitment (wasting my time for months) …….. Aaaaaagh!!!
Actually, every single Internet Marketing product I’ve ever reviewed or studied DOES tell you exactly what to do and where to start. Some details might be missing along the way, like someone might say to set up a WordPress blog, but that’s when you get on Google and type in “How to set up a WordPress blog.”
I see this common problem a lot. This emailer mentioned that he’d been doing this for 2 years and it sounds like he doesn’t know where to start. This is fear eating him up. He’s so scared to get started and stumble – wants it all laid out perfectly for him.
That’s just not gonna happen, people! Even I had to stumble and flounder – Craig wasn’t holding my hand for everything every step of the way. There were things I did wrong – you just go through that, period.
I don’t think you ever CAN have a perfect checklist of marketing tasks laid out. We could all come up with a million plans, couldn’t we? Some of us might say to start with the technical set up of a blog. Others might say to start with niche research. SOme might tell you that social networking is most important while others will say no, it’s paid advertising.
There IS no perfect starting position or perfect plan. You just START. Pick a place and start. You might discover that you forgot to do something. So what? Go back and do it.
Internet marketing is a very fluid career. You can move forward and backward and sideways all the time.
So let’s say you say to yourself right this second, “I know what niche I want so I’m going to start blogging right now!” Well it’s WHEN you sit down to take action that you’re going to say, “Oops – I forgot I need to pick a domain name to install the blog on.”
Then when you go to GoDaddy you might think, “Oh crap! I forgot I need to do some keyword research so I’ll know what domain I want.” Then “Oh no – what keyword tool should I use? Well let me see if there’s a free one.” (Googles and discovers there is)
Bingo! Then you’re on your way. You find a keyword, a domain that’s available, you go to your handy dandy “how to set up a wordpress blog” tutorial online and you DO it.
Then what? Well common sense tells you it needs content, so you start blogging. Then what? Well if you’ve been in it two years, you’ll know about affiliate marketing and info product creation. Pick one. Implement it. Nobody has a perfect journey from the get go. NOBODY.
Quit buying stuff IF you’re the type of person who won’t implement. If you do, then gobble up as much learning as you can. Okay here’s part 2 of his fear email (edited out his nickname):
I want to start a business without my real name because I want to separate it from my personal life so it is differentiated. (removed)……could be my handle. What do you think? How do I set up my corporate business, bank accounts, emails and everything else so I can start my business separate to my personal life…….Facebook, etc? I have soooooo many products and ways forward I can go…….I’m really excited to get started. I just need to know how to structure my IM business, websites combined, complimentary sales funnels, etc. I don’t want another product……lol.
Actually I DON’T recommend this. Why do you want to separate it? I know there are two ways to do this business – and one IS to use a company or brand name. For instance, in the wedding niche – The Knot is a good example. You CAN do that. Go get a DBA at your local government office, get a bank account for it, or incorporate.
I personally prefer learning from real people – warts and all. I wouldn’t “trust” a company like I would a person. The latter part of this email mentioned already having a bunch of ways to go, needing the structural advice.
My advice? Pick one and start. Forget about perfect structure and which way is best to do what. Just start. Doesn’t matter where. Build that idea up fully and then if you want to, add another.
I personally recommend services if money’s tight, then your own products, then affiliate marketing – but that’s just me! You might be completely different.
Don’t say you’re lost, because you’re not. You’re scared.
And it’s time to just do it afraid – the courage will come later.
Tiff 
P.S. To the person who emailed me this email – I don’t share it to make you feel bad in any way. some people thank me for doing this, and some people get all embarrassed – but the REASON I share it here on my blog is BECAUSE it’s such a common problem and because you eloquently conveyed your issue, so I hope my advice helps not just you, but many others.
Share and Enjoy
Posted in Career
I find posts like this very helpful. It tells me I’m not alone with my fears, I’m not a nut. I’m sure many people can relate to this, so the writer certainly does not have to be embarrassed.
I personally have a half dozen blogs & a Squidoo lens that I did a very good job on, if I do say so myself. But then I quit, not because something was wrong with my work, but because I was afraid I would mess up, so I just quit.
It is so encouraging when a self confident & successful person like Tiffany gives such supportive words & advice like she just gave.
It means the world to those of us who are still dealing with personal insecurities.
I agree Kay!
I wholeheartedly agree with this! The only way to figure out if something works is to start. And fail! Fail quickly, get up and start again. I have been doing internet marketing for a couple of years now and it’s not paying the bills but every week I do something different for my website to move it forward and try to make sure it’s consistent.
I think the shiny object syndrome is way too easy to get. Cancel all your email subscriptions save one – whoever you feel you need to follow but make sure it’s not someone who will just keep emailing you new WSO’s. Then implement one of the programs you have. The time will go by whether or not you implement the program. Figure out how you will evaluate it and give it time to work.
You should learn that you have to KNOW LIKE and TRUST to buy from someone. IF you are jumping around, not being consistent and trying many different things you will not develop the KNOW LIKE TRUST factor.
Whew! Just my two cents.
Good insight Mathea
Oh I so agree! Follow ONE person and ONE strategy, and just do that. Unsubbing from a whole lot of lists was the best thing I ever did. Of course, over time the number of subs crept back up, but I’ve culled them down a few times and have never been more productive.
I see myself all over this email. Except for the part about soooo many products and ways forward. I’m not sure where to start but you are right, Tiff. START already. Start SOMETHING. Even if it’s the wrong thing. Confidence will come with action.
“If one advances confidently in the direction of one’s dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
Henry David Thoreau
Yes!
This sounds very familiar to me. I need to go through and get rid of a lot of the emails I get that have shiny objects.
I can sooo relate to this person and I would have given anything if I had had someone like Tiffany to bap me up beside the head in the beginning and let me know that I wasn’t the only one going through so much fear and confusion. There were times that I thought I must surely be crazy!
I remember reading instructions something like “upload the file to your computer using FTP” and thinking “WTH are they talking about? Are you kidding me?”.
It’s easy to see why so many people fail at online businesses. There have been hundreds of nights I spent wanting to pull my hair out! The lucky ones find somebody like Tiffany early on and don’t have to go through so much torture.lol
I get in that place too but I have to calm myself down and google “what is ftp” and then ask someone which ftp program they prefer and then move forward. Can’t stay stuck
I don’t necessarily agree that one should just leap in. It certainly can be done. Whether its the best way or the only way is another matter. Different people work in different ways. Just as people learn in different ways. For example when I became interested in painting with watercolors I tried just jumping into it. And yes I had a picture. But it wasn’t satisfying. I didn’t know what I was doing! I wasn’t getting the results I wanted. So I learned the tools and the methods. How liberating was that! It freed me up to be creative and focus my mind on the creation.
and my hat goes off to them. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from many years of experience doing things both ways, it is that a structured approach always works best for me. Confusion disappears when the fundamentals are in place. One can just get on with it without being constantly sidetracked because one can’t figure how to get that wash to work properly or – in the middle of a painting – oh, what do I use to mask that spot. Disaster LOL.
Understanding the tools and processes and understanding business structure before you start really does free you up to focus on the business. Thats not about fear – its just a different way of operating. And its how any accredited business course in the offline world will advise you to start.
However its clear that some people prefer to fly by the seat of their pants – lucky them
True Eva but in this case he’s spent 2 YEARS accumulating instructions and hasn’t started somewhere. So with painting, there might be a few teachers with different ideas. You’d pick one to start with, right? That’s what I’m saying – there’s not one way – he has to get started sometime.
Yes, I think you’re right – if you can’t find the right info in that time then you do need to just do it.
Hi. I know how this person feels. I am/was the same way, until I just decided to do it. I started a website and i poke away at it. It’s like you said Tiff, it’s one step forward, one step sideways, a little pivot, maybe a step back, a leap, and then you have something. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t, but you can tweak from there.
One of the best advices (is that a word) you ever gave was just to start something. and go from there.
Tx
Mary
Great advice Tiff,
Like Mike Litman said…”You don’t have to get it right,you just have to get it going”
Learning along the way is the way to go. I’m so thankful that my “Shiny Object Light” has finally burnt out…whew…what a ride.
I got so sick of learning without doing. Now I crave to DO things, tasks that will generate income, better known as “money tasks”.
There will always be new things you need to learn to keep up with an ever changing world wide web. But, you need to implement at the same time. Also, focus on learning more about what your working on right now. Don’t skip around.
While the scenario you describe in your blog sounds all to familiar I’m not convinced that the word “fear” is the best way of describing what’s going on here.
I too have been struggling as an Internet entrepreneur. This includes overbuying “golden opportunities.” I have invested a lot of energy in trying to get a handle on why I’m stuck. Fear- no! It seems to be more a lack of clarity than anything else. What some may call fear seems more like being a kid in a candy store. What direction do I take, who’s “plan” do I follow.
All of this has led me to where I am today; in search of a mentor. Just as you have built an ongoing professional relationship and followed the plan of certain people my search is for that someone who will guide my journey.
Fear – I don’t think so; support, encouragement, and direction – Yes.
Thanks for listening,
Hi Tiffany:
What a great post. I think the number one thing that new IM’s do is buy too many so called plans instead of focusing on just one or two at most really good IM plans and putting the plans in motion by taking action. I also think the advice you give on using a real name is right on. And I agree fully, so happy here in Louisiana for the rain. We really need it.
Tiff, I never would have started if you hadn’t just kept saying, “Start already! Tweak as you go!”
I only had 5 products in my store at the time, but I stumbled forward. I keep stumbling forward – occasionally I fall backward, but I try to figure it out and get going in the right direction again.
Nearly nine months in and I’m still trying to “figure it all out!” LOL!
I identify 100% with the first example quoted, and for a lot longer than 2 years. I have made a start – on several occasions in fact – but lack of confidence in what I am doing (fear if you prefer to call it that) sets in and I lose momentum.
I am one of those people who “think” I need to know everything before I can do this, but all that has done is confuse me even more – the old adage “information overload” is so true.
From what I can see those like Tiffany who are successful online have started small and built up their business one step at a time.
Watching this Kindle review/case study has taught me so much about the meaning of being focused and working systematically through things. I have never been able to do that as half way through I doubt that it will work and move on to the next shiny thing. Needless to say none of it does work (for me) because I never complete anything. I am seriously shocked at how much you have achieved in such a short time Tiffany, by systematically working your way through Geoff Shaw’s course (not to mention all the other things you have completed whilst doing the course)
Thank you so much for this post Tiffany and feel free to use any of my emails as examples. I am always happy to be a “case study” as it not only helps others but also helps me.
Thanks Janet! Working through things in a review manner is what my Guide to Cashing in on Shiny New Object Syndrome was all about – because everyone always says most products don’t work, when every single one of the ones I’ve reviewed has made me money – every single one – even the ones I didn’t like! And there were plenty of times I was frustrated or screwed something up. I just had to push through.
Ah yes, the fear of using your own name. The first tip I would give anyone is to create the About Page for their website. On this, you need to say why you are qualified to talk/promote a topic. If you are comfortable with that, then you can be comfortable using your own name. If not, then why are you promoting it?
I agree with Jim. I don’t think it is a fear of failing as much as it is a lack of focus of where to start. He has bought too many programs that are pulling him in too many directions.
I would recommend your person starts by drawing up a business plan. Part of that plan is researching keywords, picking a niche and laying out goals so he has a path to follow.
For example, “I want to be making $1,000 per month by the end of 2013 in the XX niche by selling XX.”
Then buy a domain, install WordPress and start adding content.
The rest you can “learn as you go”. Some of my best learning experiences have been when I got stuck and had to figure something out.
The Internet is a great source of information, so generally all you have to do is search what you are trying to do and you’ll get more information than you could ever read.
The other day, I got stuck and I wanted a “new” set of eyes to look at my business, so I hired a coach in the same line of business as mine for a month. Sometimes you are too close to things to clearly see what is going on. She has given me a bunch of ideas.
As Nike says “Just do it!”
I think it’s a fear of not doing it RIGHT – not necessarily of failing. People just want to have all the steps outlined because they don’t want anything to go wrong. Not gonna happen.
I don’t think a newbie could adequately state something like “I want to make X by X date” – they won’t have any clue what’s really doable, just the “word” the product owner which doesn’t account for much in most cases.
Totally agree about needing a new set of eyes sometimes
Hello everybody…I am the guy responsible for the subject matter you are all chatting about & I thank you all for your input…especially our Tiff for her ‘insightful’ action in placing my email on her blog to help all.
Let’s re-name this blog Tiff, if I may suggest to: “RABBITS (Imers) IN THE HEADLIGHTS”!
I am just retired & come from a ‘Partner’ corporate background (technical) with a worldwide company…in construction…NOT marketing / sales. So… ‘fear’ (as such) is not really the primary problem factor here…albeit being hesitant/fearful (if you like…lol), to proceed does exist for many reasons…whilst my feet are dragging in thick mud, my brain is ‘high’ on IM fervour!…lol.
Eva’s words above were very correct for me as were Jim Aldrich’s to. The topic needed widening for further discussion & appreciation, for which I thank you both. I am the sort who wants to learn to the degree that makes ME comfortable – I do not mean the whole IM either – impossible I know. I know that may be wrong for some, but that does not make it wrong. It makes it more interesting for discussions & a search for solutions. I don’t want to ‘plunge in’ & make mistakes that SCAMMERS may hurt me with. They are the ones I really fear…lol.
IM & its technicalities are totally new to me so my brain & heart wants to feel a little comfortable in order for me to progress. I know…when will that be? Candy in a shop (lol) I like, but it’s a little deeper than that…lol. May I explore it with you all please?
Over a period of not knowing who or what system(s) to ‘run with’, I have bought lots of products to spread my misguided loyalty, options, & choices for my education & ‘direction’ so I have a ‘library’ & comprehension of the vast range of IM dimensions out there. Trust? Everybody seems to want to sell you more & more – even the nice peeps. Where do all these peeps get your email from; save the voluntary opt-ins of course? Has the IM world heard I’m the latest sucker for a ‘soft touch’?…lol.
Fascinatingly, (psychology coming up…lol), I have found for me the excitement of reading / buying all sorts of ‘potential’ IM products has gripped my imagination, interest & excitement to feed a ‘genuine’ want to ‘implement’ & make money for my new IM business…whatever that might be. Anyhow, my ‘marking time’ IS now exhausted & I desperately must/DO want to ‘get on’!
To decide upon my chosen topic & ‘get on with it’ & unsubscribe from ALL (almost) my emails is consistent advice from many of you/thank you – that part is right! To be honest, I know I want an Imer ‘friend’ to ‘share’ with (not to hold my hand all the way)…but I don’t have one. So my sole confidence to ‘go it alone’ is rocky, I admit…Mmmmm, am I now admitting to fear?…lol. Anybody interested…who does not want to sell me a product?…lol.
Questions I intended for Tiff were:
1. How do I ‘set up’ my internet business – name, banks, etc? Is there a mind-map out there to set up an IM business – not product mind maps?
2. Do I have separate/stand-alone websites or do I combine them under one linked umbrella? How?
3. How do I separate my IM business from my personal life? Tiff – I did not necessarily mean I want to be anonymous. Coz I’m honest & a real genuine person. However, my name is on Facebook with my personal family & life friends. I guess I simply open another account…yes?
That’s enough from me to open & explore further discussions for more empathic thoughts & to serve us Newbies who do need more than products galore & a mentor that one cannot necessarily afford. Its genuine ‘friendship’ within the community I seek as it is ‘friendship’ I will spread & give when I am able to help others who are in the same boat. Finally – thank you Tiff…..X Lee
Thanks for chiming in. Several people mentioned it might not be fear – to me, it still is LOL But maybe it’s more “discomfort” – you said you wanted to feel more comfortable. Because putting it out there without full knowledge makes you uncomfortable.
As for a friend to share it with, I know for a fact that the people on this blog support and help one another – they become friends outside of here.
On the questions:
1. Local govt office for a DBA, or incorporate – take paperwork to bank. I don’t know of a mind map. I have a cpa – they’re not expensive (I thought they were).
2. You’re not supposed to have 2 FB accounts but many people do. You could also do a fan page for your business instead.
I think you’ll do great Lee if you can put your discomfort aside and just start implementing. Pick a product you bought and just start. Review it as you implement if you want, to force yourself to go through all of the steps.
I really like the picture that comes with your post, it really shows that people have to jump over the fear to finally get to success.
One of the main problems is there are so many ways to get started making a living on the internet, or even a supplementary income. My recommendation would be to start with something that is on a rising wave.
Back in 1997 when I started, affiliate marketing was a rising wave. I jumped on it and did well. But for a while now it has been on a downward wave and it is very much harder to make a living through it.
There followed many other rising waves that have already crested and are now descending: blogging, myspace, clickbank products, squidoo, own product, own mailing list, websites with adsense, flipping websites, facebook, plr etc. These all still have a place and there will be a few people who are very successful with them.
What is currently on a rising wave? There are four that stand out:
Pinterest: (though I doubt if it is possible to make a full-time living using it) and I’m not sure the wave will last long.
fiverr.com: (providing services for other people: writing, graphics, videos etc.) Fiverr now provide the means to earn more than the basic amount. They seem to be going from strength to strength and the wave probably hasn’t crested yet.
Making apps for various mobile devices: I have no experience of this area but there looks to be a lot of mileage in it if you have the necessary technical skills.
Ebook publishing: This seems to be the area that offers the greatest possibilities. It’s on a terrific rising wave which shows no sign of cresting anytime soon. Amazon.com, with their Kindle and CreateSpace, have made it possible for anybody with a decent number of brain cells to publish fiction and non-fiction.
If there is one thing I regret not concentrating on when I started out it was learning to write well. Whatever opportunity presents itself now or in the future its likely to need writing skills.
This is a bit long but I hope it helps someone.
Therese I agree re: writing well. Many people can’t succeed at ANY of the IM stuff because their writing stinks. I’m working on another IM Writing Tips series to complement the ones already up.
Hi Theresa
Thank you for your ‘constructive’ input. all too often there is much said; without much being said. I appreciate your recommendations. Is it possible we could ‘connect’ / chat outside this forum?
Lee
OMG trust me I’m a scardypant as hell!!! But here’s what works for me : take a calculated risk. Blindly take action might never help, but taking a planned one would do.
Good idea!
You remind me of my sister Tiff, she’s always saying things like “don’t do it perfect, do it now’ and I love your line in this blog, “do it afraid, courage will come later” Great stuff, thanks.
thanks Darrell!