Archive for the ‘Confidence’ Category
Hi everyone! So lately, you guys have heard me talking about my disappointment in the darkness of how my hair turned out. You’v heard me mention makeup as well. Well today I decided to give myself a makeover after getting a pure butt kicking from my friend Helene to get it in gear! LOL (In other words she’s scolding me to quit whining about it and make the changes I want – put myself first, get the professional hair styling, etc – no excuses).
So okay, I will TAKE that butt kicking and put it into action! First the makeup, which I can do today. You remember how I told you guys that the blackhat community had posted pics making fun of me and my “cakeup?” (instead of makeup). Well I excused the cakeup look because a.) I worked in cosmetics for Princess Borghese for awhile and it was just what we did – we all wore black eyeliner, bright red lips and dramatic blush. I got used to it and b.) my husband prefers black eyeliner and red lipstick on me.
But I am not in my 20s anymore – I’m 42. And suddenly, I start looking in the mirror and seeing harsh instead of dramatic. It’s very hard for me to change my habit of the way I do my makeup because I feel naked with the more natural look. And God help us all if I am naked!
My Mom has aged gracefully – she’s always had AMAZING skin and a natural look. I want to be like my Mom. It’s time. I need to embrace my softer side – not attitude wise, just makeup wise 😉
Plus, I need a makeover. I’m planning on doing a LOT of vlogging in 2013 – and I need to look good, not startling. So let me share with you what I did and I’ll link to the products just in case anyone wants to duplicate anything – and look better than me, I’m sure. LOL!
First, I called my Mom to pick her brain. She uses original Keri lotion at night and before putting on her makeup during the day. The smell reminds me of my Mom – she’s worn this since I was little. I used to have oily skin growing up, but now it’s dry and i have to exfoliate and even then those damned dry patches show up. Still, it’s hard for me to put lotion on my skin – feels awkward for me.
But I did (after I came home and used Noxzema and St. Ives exfoliant to get all that harsh makeup off my skin). Mom said to let it set awhile because if I put makeup on right away, it would smear. I feel shiny and greasy. But apparently, that’s called an “illuminescent glow” – and you’re supposed to embrace it in your middle years. LOL
Okay so now my lotion is set. Mom told me to use Almay Smart Shade Concealer (I got Light/Medium) for any spots I may want to cover – because the anti aging base makeup is usually much lighter, so it isn’t going to cover spots like my harsher base does. I have a few places I’ll cover thankyouverymuch! Wow that stuff works well but watch out – it squirts out quickly!
Now to conceal my dark circles. For that I’m not using the white stick one I used before. I’m using Rimmel Match Perfection Concealer and Highlighter – Fair colored. Ooh it’s applied with a neat brush! How cool – and tickly! I now why – it’s because using hard sticks pulls your eyes underneath and contributes to wrinkles and lines. Time to listen to that advice. I use my pinky finger to blend it in by dabbing, not pulling.
Time for the base! My mom uses tinted moisturizer, but I couldn’t find that. So I bought Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Radiant Firming Makeup in Buff Beige. Got myself a handy dandy new makeup sponge to apply it with.
Okay now for a very hard part for me – Mom says don’t use powder if my face is dry. ACK! No powder!? I almost can’t stand it. But I won’t – today anyway. Time for me to do my eyes. Instead of black eyeliner, I bought Maybelline Line Express Eyeliner in Bronze. I used it on my upper eyelid only – no more inside the lower lid like I’d been doing. And, I smudged it with the smudger, instead of letting it stay a harsh line.
On to the eyeshadow. Mom doesn’t use shadow much – but I like shadow, so I bought the Maybelline Modern Metallics Chai Latte shades – quad pack. One thing Mom (and the Internet) said is that instead of covering my entire lower lid with a dark color, put a light color there and above and only darken the crease. So that’s what I did. I also bought an eye shadow brush to apply it with instead of the padded sticks that come with it that pull the lids. Wow it looks pretty – plain, but pretty.
Time for the mascara. I love big black eyelashes – and Mom uses the same stuff I do I think. Maybelline Great Lash blackest black mascara. Oh boy this is VERY hard for me. I look like I might as well have not put makeup on. Too too sheer for me!
Time for blush. I bought Covergirl Natural Glow Classic Color. I didn’t want anything pink or orange hued – just something with depth. It said online not to color your cheek apples when you’re getting older, so I’ll do my cheekbones instead. Now to find those. Ah pucker and do the Vogue pose. There they are! Man I can’t even see it hardly.
Lip time! Now online, I read that it’s best to use a lip pencil for a bit of color, then put a neutral shade over it and use lipgloss. I was never a lipgloss person – I don’t like flavored stuff. But I found Burt’s Bees Super Glossy Natural Shine lip gloss in Nectar Nude. Bought that for the last step.
But before that I’m lining my lips with Covergirl Lip Perfection Splendid lip liner – they really didn’t have a lot of options in the store, and this is kind of a mauvey type color. Then I apply the lipstick. I love the Maybelline Color Sensational line – they’re not too dry. So I bought a color called Warm Me Up. Hmm looks a little too brown for me and the picture shows a more pinkesh hue. Oh well, it’s on me now! Topping it off wit the lipgloss now.
Hmm I’m not happy with it. See the before and after:
It’s not that I prefer the before more, it’s just that I feel like I need something in between. The eyes and lips bother me most. I can live with the lack of powder and lighter foundation.
Well, let’s see how it translates onto film, shall we? I’ll go do today’s vlog now.
Hi everyone! What does confidence mean for you? Does it mean you hold your head up high and feel wonderful in everything you do? Not for me. Sometimes, I know that what I’m doing isn’t the perfect option.
To me, confidence is in accepting that I’m going to do something my way, and that I have a right to do that regardless of what anyone else thinks. Does it mean I don’t care what anyone else thinks ever? No.
I care. I care if 1,000 people unsubscribe from my list today. But does it mean I would change the way I do things? No. Because I’m happy. Confidence to me is doing things in a way that provides satisfaction to you, without being apologetic to anyone.
We all have preferences.
We have the right to have those preferences.
I know those brown couch pillows I use behind me in the video logs aren’t beautiful. Someone emailed to tell me so. But does it mean I’m going to change settings because people think my background isn’t aesthetically pleasing?
Um no. I have confidence that my message is stronger than my surroundings and my own preference is to feel comfortable. Those cushions are comfy, so she’s shit out of luck with her disapproval.
Looks? I know for a fact I’m not attractive right now. I’ve been attractive in the past, and this isn’t one of those times. But does it mean my confidence is gone? That maybe I shouldn’t be on video blogs from now on? Um no.
I’m not here to be your source of beauty. The only one I care to look good for is my husband as far as other people. I care enough not to go on camera sans makeup with my hair in a ball, but I’m not going to stay away from vlogging just because you’re not able to print out a screenshot of me and use it as a pinup.
There are plenty of pretty people in the world you can do that with. That’s not my purpose on this planet.
I think with confidence, I really just do everything to please ME now. I used to be the opposite – pleasing everyone BUT me. As long as what I do makes ME happy, everyone else can be responsible for their own happiness.