Sally K says:

Hello Tiffany!

Thanks for posting…insight into your lifestyle (upsides and downsides).

I can suggest a few ideas… First, pat yourself on the back for your progress, and if you find that you are beating yourself up over anything, shift focus back to that.

Talking to people on Skype could be a bridge between email, phone and talking more in person.

If there are any meet up groups in your area, on subjects that aren’t so emotionally charged as business could be, that could be a practice ground. It would get you out of the house once in a while, interact with like-minded people. (We have one here on tea, for example. They get together and go to have tea in special places locally.)

Alternate couch time with active time. I set up a table where I can stand and work, and I move between that work station, seated work, and other tasks. I use a timer and set it for a block of time, to focus on a particular task. It can get thorny when I have deadlines, but when you can work your schedule, it helps get the juices flowing.

And a good walk around the block helps, too. I have a dictation recorder to take with me.

Hope this helps…. Thanks for all you do and share with us!

Anthony says:

Hi Tiffany,
First, let me offer you my condolences on the loss of your cousin and aunt. It’s never easy to let go, even when in the back of your mind you know it’s only a matter of time, as with your aunt. When it happens to someone so young, as it did with your cousin, it’s even harder. You have my sympathies.
Second, I’m glad that your son wasn’t seriously injured in the car accident. Yes, it’s a pain dealing with insurance companies, etc., but in the end, his safety is the important thing. Everything else just falls away.
Finally, I know where you’re coming from about the social awkwardness. My situation is the opposite of yours, though. I’m overweight and have been ever since I was in grade school. I started gaining weight faster than other kids my age in about the second grade. I know some people would say that it’s harder on girls who are overwieght when they’re young, but I think it’s just as hard on boys. I wasn’t popular and had a hard time speaking out in class. When I was a junior in high school, a reporter from our biggest local newspaper came to interview students, to talk about issues that young people felt were important. I was one of about 12 kids selected. We were actually chosen by our teachers. I was sitting there listening to all those other kids, and I could not bring myself to say one word. Not one.
Once I started working though, I ended up in a low-level supervisory position and part of my responsibility involved training people. At first, I hated it. Even though I usually knew everyone in class, I dreaded it. Eventually, I got more and more comfortable and now, I’m one of those people that talks to strangers at the grocery store. After a certain point, I guess I just didn’t give a damn anymore. LOL. I think my biggest fear had to do with wondering what people were thinking of me. Now, I just don’t care. Life’s too short to worry to much about it.
Since you’re talking about getting out of your comfort zone and that you spend a lot of time at home, have you ever thought about Toastmasters, the program that helps you with public speaking. I think they have chapters in lots of places. I did a quick check and there are 38 groups meeting withing 25 miles of me. I would say that if you get comfortable talking in front of groups, everything else would be a breeze. Bottom line, you’re smart, funny, and down-to-earth and what you have to share has value. You’ve got no real reason to feel uncomfortable. I know I’ve rambled a bit. If this is too long to post, no problem. Have a great weekend.

Cathy says:

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have always been shy and feel awkward around strangers, specially in social situations.

A few of the things I found that helps: First I psych myself out and decide it’s no big deal. Most people feel the same way and we all are more concerned about what others think of us than we should be. Smile and keep your head up. Look confident and you will soon feel confidant.

Then I make small talk with whoever is nearby. “The shrimp sure looks good”, “wow, is it hot today”, “I love your dress”. Just do that a few times to different people and you will loosen up. Sometimes those little comments will grow into a more in-depth conversation. Then, ask question.s People love to talk about themselves and if you show genuine interest in someone else, it’s amazing how many friends you make.

joe says:

Hi Tiff,
You are one “hot chick”!

This was an interesting post in many ways, specially the insights you added to it through your vlog.

I’m still not sure I agree totally with the happiness versus money option though. I think that the majority of your readers (me included) would rather be miserable with a lot of money than happy with none, but that’s another story

As far as the social awkwardness goes, it seems to me that it all depends on the setting. And that is normal to me because we tend to feel more comfortable and are attracted to those who are kindred spirits. So, going to a place where you will be interacting with individuals who aren’t on the same wavelength can be difficult to get past. After all, how can you have a chat with someone who is more intent on how much of a discount Avenue offers when all you are thinking about is how to get that person to buy from your link instead of driving to the store? It can be awkward.
What I do and it works for me, so it’s my experience, k? is to project love and attraction towards those I interact with. I am always in love with the people I meet because they all seem to have an interesting story that’s just waiting to be told. My job is to ask the right questions and to listen to that story. It is amazing how someone is just waiting for somebody to listen and that is all it takes. In many ways, it’s almost like I turn into a father-confessor to strangers who were just waiting to tell all. And man, can they talk! But, that’s why I went there!

On the other hand, I may go into an event with a purpose in mind and that is all I work towards. So, if I go to a conference and have the goal of meeting and getting info from the presenters, that is all I will be working towards. If, I become a wallflower, that’s ok. I did not plan on any interaction but if it happens, it’s another gift to meet a friend I didn’t know.

The reason why this often works for me, is that I learned a long time ago that we are all very self-conscious so the one who isn’t controls the event. If I can get you to talk about what a (loud)lovely miniature labrador you have and come across like I really am interested, then you will forget the stain on your sleeve and will be more focused on sharing with me about your love of the moment. And that will change the nature of the interaction totally. It’s amazing how individuals light up when you are able to get them to talk about what they love the most. And, all it takes is just a few focused questions and a good ear.

Having watched your vlogs, and read a lot of your material, I believe you are the warmest person ever, and that you are a very giving person, so you are already way ahead of the game, when it comes to being attractive, and having a “take-no-crap” attitude, you can easily read anyone who comes across as a phony. The important thing is to trust your instincts. Friend, come have a good time. Fake friend, fake interaction and goodbye.

The main thing is to create a sense of openness and allow others to come into your space, too. No crossed arms, big smile, direct eye contact, and so on.

Tiff, you are a wonderful person and it is my distinct privilege to know you a little more so here’s my final thought. Stay true to yourself, always. The rest will take care of itself.

Your fan,
joe

Carmen says:

Tiffany, you are a wonderful person, and the things that you share with us are improving our lives. I have been trying to become successful online for years, and I have seen a lot of your videos and read your material, and you are genuine.

This is what you need to remember in social situations, you are as valuable as anyone else in the room, and you have as much to contribute as everyone else. Most people in social situations feel uncomfortable. You have to get out there and silence the voice of fear and insecurity and be your unique beautiful self.

Thank you for all you do!