If You Act Like a Duck, You’ll Be Foie Gras!
December 4th, 2008 | 
Author: What expectations do you have for yourself?
Do you expect, wish, or hope for your success?
I expect it.
I know I’m capable of doing it, so there’s no wishing or hoping or daydreaming or envy that someone else has it better than I do at the moment.
I just know I’ll be there and I put my nose to the grindstone to make it happen.
The reason I have this is because I was conditioned for this throughout my educational years. My mom was heavily involved in my schooling, always pointing out if I made a less than stellar grade that it was simply due to a lack of effort and preparation and not my mental abilities – and she was right.
The school I went to was college preparatory – we were doing college level work in 8th grade. My son, in 4th grade at the same school, is doing some of the same work his 10th grade brother in public school just completed.
When you go to this school, it’s expected that you’ll be able to handle the workload and the pressures. This is known as the Pygmalion Effect. Patricia Dignan wrote a great book called The Pygmalion Principle: The Impact of High Expectations on Student and Staff Achievement.
The public school here gives my other son the exact test beforehand – they don’t expect them to learn on their own – they hand the answers to them on a silver platter. You’d think this would be great – all the answers given to you! But you don’t build confidence in yourself that way. You don’t have to work for your grade and so you don’t feel as proud when you come home with an A.
This is much like what I’ve discovered in business.
So many people want overnight instant riches. “Hand me the step by step so that it’s brainless!”
Why do you want brainless? Do you expect it because you believe that’s the only way you can reach your goals?
Being successful shouldn’t be too easy. The entire learning process of making money online weeds out those who have what it takes and those who don’t. If you’re willing to GO FOR IT – I mean find those tough answers, have the balls to reach out to someone with a big name and ask for a JV, stumble, fall and get back up and charge forward again – then you’re going to succeed long term.
If you expect someone to force feed you the information like a duck about to be turned into foie gras, then I’m sorry to tell you this, but the competition’s going to eat you alive.
There’s no silver spoon in the world of Internet Marketing.
It’s a battlefield and only Warriors who are fearless and who believe they will win WILL win.
Think about what the expectations are for you and for those you’re learning from! What do you expect from an Internet marketing how-to eBook? Have you lowered your expectations because of all the trash out there?
Maybe if you demanded more from them you’d see more of that in the marketplace. As the student, we know that unless you’re in a personal one-on-one coaching situation, no one is going to expect a damn thing from you.
It all rests on your shoulders.
I see too many emails from people ready to give up because they’ve spent 2 whole weeks trying to figure it out and are now frustrated! Two whole weeks? I spent 6 YEARS before I finally got fed up enough to say, “Forget relying on my guru friends and clients to teach me this stuff – I’m gonna go out and find the answers myself!”
And that’s just what I did.
I just had to remember what was expected of me as Tiffany Dow – my mother’s daughter. Still a student in life. Still and always learning. Always able. Never afraid.
Think about the Pygmalion Effect. Here’s what Wikipedia says about it: “The Pygmalion effect requires a student to internalize the expectations of their superiors. It is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, and in this respect, students with poor expectations internalize their negative label, and those with positive labels succeed accordingly.”
Your superior is YOU.
What’s your self-fulfilling prophecy?
See yourself as a failure – and you will be one.
See yourself as a success, and you are!
Tiff 
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I’ve been trying to get something going with Internet marketing. And it’s taken awhile, because I keep falling into the trap of trying for the quick success. One of my expectations is that success should come quick and easy (probably because I believe the hype of some marketers). But as I keep trying things and not getting the results as good as I want, I keep getting more willing to do more of the hard work, and my efforts are starting to pay off. I’ve gotten a lot more knowledgeable, so I make fewer dumb mistakes and do a lot more things right.
Also, I think my self-fulfilling prophecy has been that I can’t influence people very well when it comes to non-technical issues (I’m a computer programmer, and I can influence well when the facts are more of the “hard” kind). Internet marketing takes softer “facts” (or really emotion) to be persuasive, and I’m getting more confidence I can do this as I work at it. But I’m having to overcome my past.
That’s a real pumper-upper. Your writing style reminds me of another pretty danged good writer. Won’t mention his name. …He’s quite bald, though.
You hit the nail on the head! I’ve been an overachiever all my life just like you due to high expectations from my family (I’m the black sheep-everyone else in the family are teachers!) So, I took the learning approach to IM just like I have everything else. I read all I could for more months than I want to admit BEFORE jumping into it. Why? Because I wanted to understand what I was doing and also because of my “control-freak” nature – I’m trying very hard to overcome my desire for perfection!!
No, I didn’t want someone to lead me by the hand and micro-manage my efforts. Instead, I made very clear concise goals for myself and stuck to them. I wasn’t afraid to ask a few questions (and Tiffany always is GREAT in answering any question). If you cannot rely on your own inner resources and make your own plan, then you won’t make it in any industry.
That is huge. Expectation is all the difference- it requires a mental shift that makes every thing diff.
I wanted to lose 30 lbs, in the process I did a mind shift of “not trying” but “expectation”.
Bottom line I am 30 lbs lighter.
It did not dawn on me what I had done until I read your post.
A brilliant and insightful article, right on the nose. In my opinion many people are fooled into the false belief that somehow internet marketing is different for real world marketing.
While it is true that the tools of internet marketing are extremely powerful they will only work if used properly.
While we grapple with all the techno- wizardry and wiz-bang cool cyber stuff the basics of marketing can get lost in the shuffle.
Out there on the other side of the monitor are real people looking for products that solve a problem or fulfill as desire. Learning how to find them, and sell to them is the whole name of the game.
The only way to do that is through experience, the old fashioned way, taking your bumps along the road.
It’s perhaps important to reflect on the fact that statistically 98% of all “online business fail”. If were all that simple and easy, would that number be so high?
I congratulate Tiffany for being so forthright and honest with readers. If you really want to sell online you need to hear the truth and not some glamorized candy coated pitch designed to create unrealistic expectations.
Well, that is one awe-inspiring, give-a-little-kick-in-the-rear article, Tiffany.
Our own expectations and ability to set goals and follow through is what separates the 80 and the 20.
Having a mentor helps, but you still have to do it yourself.
Thanks for keeping it real,
Theresa
“Expectation” sure beats “try” any day!
Words also affect results too.
I’m just finding that “Goal” doesn’t inspire me….only after more than 50yrs!
The word “Outcome” is doing it for me…
Results, Mary, Results,
What outcome (results)are you expecting to-day?
Throws a different slant on things altogether & makes me feel I’ve wasted real time, if I haven’t achieved the expected/desired outcome/result.
Goal, has no impact for me & I never knew!
Ah, a rose by any other name…?
Mary
How did I miss this post when it was listed 3 months ago?
The writing itself must be one of the very best Tiffany Dow offerings and the followup comments are almost as valuable reading for all of us.
My favorite quotation, from Abraham Lincoln, is fitting for this post…”Honesty, it confuses your friends and befuddles your enemies.”
People overall aren’t used to dealing with honesty thanks to the manipulatives world in which we live; most especially the world of internet marketing.
There are a few rare fruit on the Net
tree;and Tiff-is are exactly that.
However I am not posting concerning
work.From afar(New Zealand)
the USA economic Scenario looks like
Wonderland and I am concerned. In the
centre of the storm,its the only planet
we have-and we have such short time.
We must work together for the common
good.
And it matters.The whole Military
-industrial complex-rigged for Iraq,
Gaza,an uneasy Pakistan..a restless
Afghanistan.And not-American cannot
afford to make Fords.But it can make
fighter planea.And an uncertain Russia.
I would have thought that the economic maelstorm left by Dubya..required extensive re-grouping
That is the reality and in all the
IM pages–its geared at me as if I am a
14y old saving up for Batman comics.
There is another side to Web.20. You
only have to research to see that the economic global meltdown is just numeric global capitalism.
I
The planet is war ready.The dollar is matched 34% by the Yuan any movement,
and China economically tightens the reins.
USA,despite,all the brouhaha- is in
trouble. Now,Tiff took six years cutting out her niches. Six years is not
now.Wonderland does not exist.Only a
future that is unmapped,and that can
form multi-stream incomes is going to form
anything like future value. The Dollar
is not what it used to be and O’bama
is not Jesus–so why is the present global reality never brought to our notice?Instead we get kitchy banner headlines.Red headlines screaming in
hyperspeak-and then the video-Audio
video hits the scam and scram crowd..
It there or is there not A realityFactor-and its name is Wall Street?
Will, it took me 6 years but only because of inaction. I kept thinking I couldn’t do it because I didn’t know how – because my guru friends wouldn’t spend time teaching me step by step. Do it yourself is what they were probably thinking! LOL – You can be up and running making money within days with affiliate marketing, but you have to know how to do it
What do they say, if it acts like a duck, walks like a duck…..it is a duck.
You are what you believe you are, the more you believe it, you will achieve it.
Did I just make a that rhyme?
Great kick in the pants.
Hi Tiffany,
I agree with your whole heartedly and thanks for saying it loud and clear!
This can be applied to “loving” goals within one’s life path as well.
After reading your blog, the first thought to mind were a group of people who call themselves friends!
I see the “duck attitude” as one of the results of conditioning for people to “follow” as opposed to “lead” and encourage free thinking.
It is not easy to start out in field that is familiar but changed, for the last 7 months, I found myself and family living on a bread line, however last week 3 opportunities presented themselves, and this week is GO! What a relief to finally make some small steps forward.
Positive attitude and working in joy, plus remaining within good ethics has been my goal, although I am so long conditioned to working within short deadlines, an over the top stress level and being driven by guilt, and sheer determination, I am glad that I finally saw my bad habits and calmed down the panic. This is the old way and I welcome a new paradigm, as I believe there is so much more to life than that.
All the best!
Victoria Pope
My blog: popevictoria.blogspot.com
Thanks! I needed this! I AM MY OWN SUCCESS…No effort – no results.
You’re welcome! Sometimes we all find a nugget of motivation online.
Oh Tiffany, where have you been all of my life! I have taking lessons from some of the great “teachers” only to find out that I still hadn’t learned a thing that I really and truly needed to know.
Then sickness hit, and without the energy to struggle my way to stability on the ‘net, I just played games and read the offers. No more participation. Until recently, when I read the truth about myself, from you!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I know that it is going to take me longer than many others, because I do not have the income that will allow me do what I know I must do ensure my success on the internet. BUT I DO KNOW THAT I WILL , no cancel that will, I SHALL BE MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN I AM NOW. Thank you.
I do expect things to go well for me in my web career – and I expect it to be hard. It’s been hard so far but it’s also been great, you appreciate your achievements so much more, and you feel like you deserve all the success you get
Dear Tiffany,
We have been reading your blog for a little while now–this post was rather refreshing!
Self-belief, action and persistence are the three most important factors that determine success.
If you don’t have self-belief, take action anyway and persevere until you succeed.
Self-belief is a positive side effect of success, which is determined by action and persistence.
But never “try”–either do or do not–there is no “try” (Quote credit: Yoda)
Best regards
teNriA