Hi everyone! I had a little Aha moment last night. I love when I have those. I have mentioned lately how I feel lethargic, always tired. Y’all joke with me about how much I get done, but when I only get 8 pages done compared to 25 or so, it’s a problem. It means something’s off.
And what’s been bugging me is – as you have seen – my MIND and my EMOTIONS are completely ramped up with excitement about Kindle. So here’s my brain, wanting to be so very productive, and my body just feels like flopping here on the couch and my eyes start to flutter shut.
They’re out of sync.
I’d been emailing Paula Seymour about this and complaining to my Mom about it. Blamed it on the heat, but when it’s 68 degrees in here like right now, I really have no excuse.
I sat here and in my head, I whispered to myself, “It sucks that I finally got my mind strong and now my body’s weak.” I’m referring to when I was like 20 years old and my body was a powerhouse (not talking LOOKS – I’m talking strength – I was waking up and hitting 1,000 balls on the driving range, walking 36 holes (2 rounds) of golf and carrying my bags (that’s about 10 miles on my course), then going to work out at Bally’s Fitness afterwords.
But guess what? My mindset sucked back then. I complained, wasn’t inspired. I did it begrudgingly. And when it came to my personality, I was weak. I was a people pleaser. I was opinionated but never would have done a blog and said what I thought. I got shit on by my boyfriend – and took it!
Now, the tables are reversed. My mind is a powerhouse. I’m strong – not intimidated, very focused, etc. But my freaking body is weak. It’s healthy. I have health stats to prove it. And yes, I know some of you will say, “but if you have no energy, you’re not healthy.” I disagree. Health to me is about numbers and risk and my medical professionals tell me genetically, I lucked out real well and my weight isn’t an obstacle.
To me, lack of energy is just an annoyance – like a freaking gnat that won’t leave me alone.
So last night I said to myself, “Self: you healed your mind and strengthened it. Why not turn your body into a machine?”
Before I go any further let me say this:
I love you, but please do not send me any diet advice or exercise tips. And don’t send them to me saying, “I know you said not to send you this, but…” I will deleted it without responding and I never like being rude like that.
I already have what I want and need and I don’t like the mindset of other people regarding this. Mine is rare.
Also, I am NOT going on a diet. I’m not giving up ANYthing. I’m not trying to lose a single pound.
See? Doesn’t mesh with your mindset, does it? That’s okay, it’s not the end of the world.
I went back to my handy dandy nutritionist’s website – since she changed my life. And I love her sample meal plan. Candy bars, brownies, etc. Not diet ones. LOL! She rocks.
Anyway, I went over some plans for energy in regards to food. My body isn’t being fueled up for productivity. In fact, you know what I do? I wake up and have coffee and eat at around 3-4 PM. Then I might eat a snack before bed around 2 AM.
So I remember her trying to teach me to eat throughout the day so my body didn’t crash. I started that this morning. I’ll share exact details in a sec.
Second, I decided this isn’t about weight loss. I’m sorry but I have no desire to make it about aesthetics. I just don’t. If weight falls off, great! I’m not saying I hope to keep it ON, but I ABHOR the mindset of dieters. In fact there are FB friends who are nothing but diet whores who I wish I could unfriend, but I feel sorry for them.
The worst are the diet MLMers because they pair their diet mentality with money and they’re like robots. Every post and picture is about an ab or a diet food. You ask, “How’s the weather there?” and their reply is, “Well it’s almost too hot to make my Weight Watcher’s 2 point brownies, and I love those because I’ve lost 58 pounds on it.”
NO THANK YOU!
I mean to each his own and good for them, but they’re like Stepford wives to me. Scary robots. There’s more to life than dieting.
My focus on this mission is pure stamina and strength. I happen to know what I weigh because I went to the doctor about a week ago (250 – I kept off the 18 pounds) but I’m not weighing again. Sorry. I’m not measuring a single body part, either. No clothing sizes, either. I don’t care if I stay 250 pounds, my butt as large as a highway billboard!
Gasp! The horror! I know. There, there…You’ll be okay.
Instead, I want it ALL about endurance for me – and energy. Unfortunately, it’s kind of hard to measure that. So I’m going to have to journal about it. Blog about it. See how I’m feeling over time.
Here’s what today will be like:
Woke up at 9:30 AM and started the coffee machine after brushing my teeth and getting dressed.
Walked out into the den and told the hubby I needed the treadmill. He looked perplexed. He asked me what I needed it for. LOL! He probably thought I wanted to hang clothes on it or something.
I got on and walked at a 3.0 until I felt very, very tired like I didn’t want to go on. I didn’t look at it until I was ready to step off. I normally walk at a 2.5 when I’m on there, but I want to increase at a level where I push myself a bit more. I needed to see where my tiring point is.
I did 9 minutes 35 seconds. Felt like bees were stinging my legs.
I got off, poured my coffee, grabbed a glass of water (I don’t drink enough), scrambled an egg and a piece of toast w/margarine (just one each because I have zero appetite in the morning), sat down and ate them.
What my nutritionist Jennifer says to do is eat every 2-3 hours. Fuel. Energy. Pairing carbs with proteins. I can do that, so I will. But forget diet food. I have it all mapped out and I think I’ll go to the Farmer’s Market so I can get my fresh fruits and veggies instead of store crappy ones.
When my son Dylan gets home, he’s going to show me how to work body groups in the mirror in the bathroom with small 5-pound weight. DAMN those things are heavy! LOL!
He’s really learned a lot and while he’s into weight gaining, he’s managed to carve some good muscles into his upper body. I want the strength those muscles can deliver.
When I was talking to him last night, I was telling him about this mind-body syncing I wanted to achieve and he said, “Yeah I didn’t know if you’d make it out of the caverns in San Antonio last summer.”
I’d forgotten about that. I went through them, and at the end there’s a straight up staircase – like straight up for a LONG time. I kept up, but when we reached the top, I was dying. Exhausted. Then we had to walk a simple plank-like ramp to get out. It sloped upward, but nowhere near as bad as the stairs. But my body was D-O-N-E.
I grabbed my mother in law’s arm and said, “Don’t leave me!” when she started passing me up. I wasn’t so sure I could do it. I did, but man it showed how energyless I was.
So there ya go. The Tiff Beast. She’s waking up.
And you know what’s funny? I’m sitting here finishing my coffee as I write this and I feel more energy already. Must be all in my head, but I’ll take it. No way that 1 carb/protein meal and a walk could have affected me so soon.
Love y’all! Just letting you know what’s going on