Prayers or Good Thoughts Please
January 17th, 2013
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Author: My dad’s in the hospital.
He had a seizure last night and my aunt didn’t call 911 because “she’s a nurse” so she waited until 2 PM today to call my sister saying he hadn’t been talking.
Then my sister rushed over to find he’s not only not talking, but he doesn’t know her. That’s never happened before.
So now he’s in the hospital and I feel helpless so far away…
And angry. I found out about it on Facebook.
Tiff 
Update: Thank you so much for the prayers and thoughts, sweet friends. Didn’t get any sleep last night. Apparently dad has pneumonia and in his state of slight dementia couldn’t relay his symptoms to my aunt and the dr said she wouldn’t have noticed. It’s very subtle in elderly his age/state.
His blood pressure had soared and he was in a state of confusion. They put a catheter in and he fought, kicked a nurse in the head and was cursing. Two male nurses had to hold him down. Scared my sister to death. They said it hurt because he has an enlarged prostate. It makes me so sad for confused elderly to have to be hospitalized and scared.
Anyway, this morning dad spoke and called my sister Janice (my aunt’s name – she’s 80). Michelle told him she was Michelle and he laughed and remembered her name a bit later. I hope he pulls through. I plan to make a quick trip up there when he’s out of the hospital. Nothing I can do right now.
Making him a video to tell him I “wish I had it all on the end of my nose” like he always told us growing up. And of course, that I love him so much. I’m 42 and my dad is an older dad, but I will never be ready for him to leave…
Update: I talked to my sister just now. She said my aunt was told by the doctor that he would have little seizures and just to make sure he wasn’t biting his tongue, etc. Call the dr the next day if needed, etc. So she was doing what they told her to do. I still would have called 911 but I’m not going to be angry at her.
Dad nodded and smiled slightly when Michelle told him I loved him. They said he may have pneumonia or something else – running more tests but she said this morning he looked much better. His eyes, etc. He said yes when she asked if he wanted to watch TV.
Update: Turns out they did NOT check his dilantin levels like they said they had so they are now. He’s now fighting mad and verbal – he doesn’t like the catheter or being tied down to prevent him from pulling the catheter out (he already did once today). He knows who she is and who I am. I talked to him a couple of times today and he sounded so happy to talk to me but I could hear him arguing before long – he wants to get up out of bed and be able to go to the bathroom on his own so he fluctuates between begging my sister to untie his hands and demanding it.
It’s taking its toll on her emotionally so I’m trying to support from here. I told her to call me anytime and I distract him and tell him to calm down and take a nap. I keep sending videos of me talking to my sister’s cell phone and she plays them for dad. He thinks it’s a live call and he keeps yelling back at the phone to tell me he’s in the hospital. Love that he enjoys them though. My oldest son (who he helped raise at first) is making him one, too.
They can’t sedate him or give him pain meds because they need his lungs as strong as possible. So he just has to fight through it. He’s definitely making a few jokes. Even mad, he’s kind of saying some funny stuff on purpose.
Update: Just saw on Facebook again :/ that the doctor now thinks he may have had a stroke because he has “word soup.” Part of his talking makes sense and part is a jumble of nonsense. Called the ICU dept and they can only have ONE point of contact. Well that’s not me so I’m SOL.
Update: Last night I called my sister and she said her son was up there with her (he’s grown) and dad knew all of them. He was making tons of jokes. He’s always joked about the name Clederdale. He was joking about it and they were all dying laughing. He’d laugh when his words came out wrong. The nurse said he knows his words don’t come out right sometimes.
He’s settled down a bit about being untied but he still asks sometimes. When they showed him one of my videos last night (with Honey in it because dad used to have 2 chihuahuas), they asked him if he liked it and he said “No” and then burst out laughing (probably because he meant to say yes lol).
I called him this morning and he was back to his old self from YEARS ago – the last couple of years my dad’s joking personality had been completely gone. This morning he was telling me he thinks he might be over the hill now (he always joked about how I somehow became older than him and how did that happen).
But when he told me he worships me, I started bawling. I know he does. Like I worship my babies. He thinks one of the nurses is me, so when she walks in, he says, “Oh babe – you drove all this way to see me?” I’m going – just waiting for him to be out of ICU so my kids can get in, too.
So today I’m happy his personality is somewhat back (I’ve missed it), I’m happy he knows me when I talk to him, but of course, I’m still sad that he’s going through this.
Update: The doctor said they’re going to try to see if dad can walk tomorrow or Monday. He’ll need to go to a rehab facility after he gets out of the hospital.
Tiff
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Oh dear. Thoughts and energy coming your way!!!
thanks Mary. 2013 just isn’t working well for me so far.
Tiff,
Please know that I mean NO DISRESPECT when I say this… but I can’t imagine anyone, much less your aunt, having waited and not gone to the emergency room IMMEDIATELY! Yes, I caught the part that she is a nurse, but still…anyway…
Just know that anyone who knows you, will have this prayer chain linking in no time.
My heart breaks for you and I pray that your DAD recovers with God-speed! God bless you and your family during this trying time, Tiff.
I know. The only thing I can think is he has seizures often (sort of) so maybe she thought she’d wait it out. I don’t know. But I wouldn’t have…
Thanks Lanita
Prayer said and more to come!
Thanks Lanita!
Oh for the love of Moses… What was she thinking? As a nurse, she should of acted immediately.
Sorry, she’s related and all, but this is unacceptable to me. I’d tar and feather her if she was my aunt!
I can understand your feeling of helplessness. My sisters always inform me of things DAYS after it happened, and on Facebook no less.
May Angels smile upon your father, Tiffany. I’ll share a prayer.
Hang in there girl. We’re with you!
I’m not sure but my sister confuses me a bit – mainly because she’s panicked – so I’m not sure why she didn’t call. I’ll find out later. Thanks for the prayers Bonnie!
Tiffany you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thanks April!
Oh wow…
So sorry to hear about the situation and the circumstances surrounding it, Tiffany. My thoughts and prayers will surely be with you and your family. I wish you all the best.
Thanks Tyler. Hoping to hear better news today.
So Sorry Tiffany
Praying for you and your Dad
Mary Kathan
Thank you Mary!
So Sorry Tiff all of the good energy I can muster is coming your way. Your dad is an amazing man and a fellow vet. We are all connected.
Thank you Barney! Yes you all are connected as heroes for your country.
Oh no! And so sorry you had to hear about it third-hand from Facebook. And there was such a delay in getting the right kind of help. And all of that must be making you sick inside.
My prayers are offered for you and your family. Hunker down and get some rest if you can.
Yes but now there’s some confusion over why that happened so I’ll get the story later.
I am so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you.
I understand about finding things out by way of facebook. There was a comment by somebody who lives a state away from us about my cousin who lives less than an hour from me. My cousin has lived with my family a few times over the years and I have always felt really close to him. My oldest daughter has the same birthday as him, just 5 years younger.
I got on the phone to find out what’s up. He was in a really bad car accident. He’s still in really bad shape. It could still be another 4 weeks before they know how extensive the brain damage is.
Needless to say, it sucked finding out about it first on facebook.
~Mona
Oh no Romona I’m so sorry – hope he pulls through. ((hugs))
Tiff – so scary and the time delay in getting help must be heart wrenching. Prayers and good thoughts for a full recovery, and strength to you in this difficult time.
Mary
I know Mary. But the dr may be saying it wasn’t her fault. I don’t know. So much confusion to sort out now.
So sorry to hear about your Dad. Prayers and ‘get well soon’ mesages from down-under. Finding out on FaceBook is awful. I know the world is getting obsessed about new tech, but some things should be done with an old fashioned telephone.
How far away does your Dad live?
Prayers from Kathy and myself.
Exactly yes. Thanks Peter and Kathy!
Tiff that’s so awful! My prayers are winging their way to you and I’m sending positive thoughts to your dad. Sometimes you just want to wring someone’s neck!
My sister said something about her not calling but I’m confused on why so I’ll have to sort that out.
So sorry to hear this Tiffany! Your dad is in my prayers.
A big hug,
Priscilla
thank you Priscilla!
So sorry Tiff – I hope everything turns out ok with your dad. To find out on Facebook is just horrible
I know
thanks Isobel.
Oh, Tiff! You can count on me for good thoughts and prayers! Sending you as much positiveness as I can. Keep strong lady! Today’s a sad day for me too. My best friend- she was 34- passed away 3 years ago! So, my mind will be with all who suffer and going through difficult time. Try and put the anger aside, if you can! Easy to say, I know but it doesn’t help! Anyway, thinking of you and your family! Xxx Yoan
Oh I’m so sorry Yoan – so young! ((hugs))
I’m sorry to hear that Tiff
I’m focusing on a positive outcome for you all.
Thank you Cat!
Dearest Tiffany, I just sent up a prayer for you and your family. I can totally empathize with you; your experience brings back memories of my mom being in the hospital. I also felt helpless – even though I was by her bedside. May you stay strong…
Thanks Ms. Jackson. Appreciated!
Sorry to hear about your dad and that you are so far away.
Best wishes,
Ann
thanks Ann
Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear! And on top of everything finding out on FB, that’s horrible
Sending positive thoughts and energy! Hope he gets better soon
**hugs**
Thanks Lisa!
We work with words all the time, but often it’s hard to find the right ones.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your Dad and your family.
Thank you Marsha!
Sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.
Thanks Victoria!
I’m sorry to hear that your Dad isn’t doing too well. Your Dad is a Vet and so was mine.
I’ve said some prayers for your Dad and your whole family. I will continue to keep all of you in my prayers. It’s tough to not know what is going on. I’m confident that you will get the information you need. You could also call the hospital and talk to someone on the floor that he has been assigned to. As his daughter they should be able to give you some information as to his status. Keep the faith,
Tiff! We’re all pulling for your Dad.
Take care and God bless!
Thank you Ahsha! I just spoke with him a bit ago so he’s talking a bit now. He’s mad as a hornet though. Doesn’t want to be there.
Bonnie, if you have the tar, I have the FEATHERS!
@Tiff, I can only imagine how you felt hearing about it on Facebook, rather than through some method personally…perhaps Ma Bell (phone). I mean how hard could it be to give you a quick call to update you.
I hope he’sdoing better today. =)
He is seemingly!
Tiff, so sorry you found out on facebook. That’s the worse. I’m sending prayers to you and your family. Glad to see in the updates that he is improving. Please keep us posted!
Thanks Sydney!
Looks like my comment didn’t go through earlier. I hope things are going better. My grandfather had a stroke recently and it was really hard… he kept trying to get out of bed and walk because he didn’t think there was anything wrong and he would yell, scream, and cry because we couldn’t undo the restraints. It wasn’t easy to watch.
I’m praying.
He’s improving a little Amanda. What’s weird is, his “personality” had pretty much disappeared over the past few years – he used to joke around and tell stories. Then he quit. Now the last 2 days he’s joking around a ton. Michelle said they laughed their ass off last night. He always jokes about the name Clederdale and he kept joking about it and laughing so they’d all laugh. This morning he told me he thinks he might have finally gone over the hill (he always jokes about being young). At least he’s more in a good mood right now.
Your dad and your family are in our prayers. We wish your dad God’s Blessings.
Tom & Bonnie
Estero, FL
Thanks Tom and Bonnie! He seems to be improving…
I haven’t checked since your first update was posted and it’s great to see such improvement in your reports. Sounds like he’s a fighter!
Oh he is
I’m glad too Erika!
Hi Tiff. I just saw this. I’m praying for your Dad and your entire family. But it sounds like he’s making great progress. Everyone’s prayers are already helping
Hugs,
Sandy
Thanks Sandy! Yes he seems to be
Tiffany,
I hope your Dad continues to improve and do well! It’s so scary when something like this happens and you live far away. Something similar happened to my Grandfather (sudden illness, needed hospitalization) and he pulled out his catheter and stripped naked and tried to leave the ICU! Although we can laugh about it now, at the time my Grandmother and Mom were pretty upset.
I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers!
Jessica
Oh no! I know my dad would be able to laugh at some of the things he’s doing. He’d feel bad for my sister too.
I have you and your entire family in my thoughts and prayers. I’ve been in your shoes. Your Dad is a true warrior. Please keep us informed on his condition and do your best to get some rest. You cannot continue unless you yourself are strong.
Thank you Paul! You’re right. Been restless. Light sleep worrying
Hey Tiffany,
Praying for your dad and all those around him – for him to get excellent medical care and for a full, quick recovery.
Bless your heart, try not to worry. Work is a blessing, that’s for sure!
Take Care,
Carol
Thanks Carol and yes it is!
Tiff,
You need to go visit him now! My Mom passed away 4 hours before I got to her house – I did hesitate and wish I didn’t
I can’t John. They have strict ICU rules in place and 1 contact (my sister) and I have to take my kids with me. Scarlett can’t get in until he’s out of ICU.
Praying for all of you!
Thanks Charles!
Well we know where you get your honey badger from!
So sorry to hear about your Dad, Tiff. I know how tough it is when your loved ones get ill and you are far away. Even if you get updates, you just want to be there and see with your own eyes.
Will be praying for him to be up and out of hospital soon and that you can all go and see him and give him hugs personally
Take care of you and your loved ones.
xoxox
My Mom has her own honey badger
So I’m doubly genetically blessed. LOL Thanks Tamsin!
Reading all of this takes me back to when I was going through stuff with my own father. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
So sorry Joey. Thank you
Hi Tiffany,
I’m really sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for your dad and that you get to see him soon.
~Alice
Thanks Alice me too!
Hang in there. I am going through something very similar. We can get through this. We are honey badgers!!!!
So sorry Steph! ((hugs))
my prayers are with him and all of you.
Thank you Darryl!
I’m so glad to see the update (today?) that your dad is better at last and may start walking around a bit.
Scary times. I had to deal with dad and his complaining about being connected to machinery and not wanting help with bathing etc etc etc early last year … exhausting, but he is better now, and I’m hopeful for your dad too.
When they start really complaining, you know they are on the mend, as its when they are not even aware of the catheters etc you know they are seriously on the brink.
Like you, I also think that 2013 is unfortunately starting off as a most precarious year… truly a potential “annus horribilis”
Many personally upsetting things have happened (and are still going on) already in the first three weeks, but the latest event this week was my mother’s sudden death. We were estranged, but it still is what it is.
Anyway, I’m just doing my best to stay positive / optimistic and to get on with the job at hand – and trying to just keep out of more bloody trouble for a little while.
You know that your and your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers – always.
Exactly Helene – he told me today he was worse but we know he’s better. He doesn’t remember the last few days. The fact that he now knows he’s sick is a blessing in a way.
I’m so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing – even estranged
Thinking about you…
Thinking of you and your family, sending prayers and good thoughts your way.
Ted
Thank you Ted!
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Last year I went through my share of nightmares. I lost my mother-in-law and, in November, had to go to rehab for Generalized Anxiety Disorder and extreme weight loss.
I’m doing much better now (new meds and gained 15 pounds.) As we like to do in my house, I ask that God and the angels surround you and your family during this hard time.
Thank you Katie. Glad your year in 2013 is off to a better start than last year was for you.
Hugs and prayers for you and your Dad Tiff. {{{Hugs}}}
Thanks Regina!
Sorry to hear about your Dad. Best wishes for him and your family.
Wayne
Thank you Wayne!
I’m with Bonnie…sorry.
And having been the primary contact when my mom was in the hospital, I had no issue putting in the records for the staff that if my brother called from Chicago they could answer and and all questions he had (and I had the medical power of attorney). I see NO reason you, as the calm one not watching him go thru all this, can’t get questions answered from someone other than those emotionally involved at that end!!
I know what it’s like to watch a parent and close loved ones go thru stuff like this all too well. And I’m like you in that the more I work, the less stress I feel…although my stress in those situations usually goes to anger, not stress.
I sent your info to my girlfriend in IL since she has an active prayer chain back there too!
Phone is on 24/7 as is the computer gal…just FYI.
Yep they said there’s one nurse per patient and it takes away from patient care. thanks Debi
Tiffany,
Sorry to hear about your Dad. My prayers for are for him, you and your family.
If possible, get some rest-easy to say but hard to do-unfortunately I know from personal experience-took care of my Dad until he passed.
All the best to you & your family
Ron
Thank you Ron
Sorry for your loss.
No matter how old your parents get, when they are ill it’s scary.
My dad has a lot of health issues…I live in Oregon, and my family is still in TX. I know it’s hard to be so far away and feel so helpless.
You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.
Thanks Pamela. Sorry you’re separated form yours too.
My wife and I send our prayers to you and your entire family. Keep the faith Tiffany, as everything will work out ok. Take Care, Sam
thank you Sam!
Tiffany,
Thinking of you. Sorry to see what you are going through.
It is tough no matter how old we all we still have to deal with it in our own way.
Despite that you still managed to consider those of us down here in the heat. Just confirms that you really do care
Thanks for the thought – the fires are the real problem.
Yes it is. Thought I’d be prepared but I won’t ever be. Ever.
We had fires last year too. One of my good friends’ lost her whole house. She rebuilt. Felt so bad for her losing memories, etc.
Hang in there Tiffany.
It is nice that you are able to send him videos – great idea!
Mary
Yes he loves that!
Definitely keeping your Dad, you and your family including your sister and her family in my prayers
Thank you Cyndie!
I’m sending happy thoughts your way… and {{{{{hugs}}}}}!!!
Thanks Jeannie! I could use them
Prayers for you and your family. I’ll put you all on my church’s prayer list too. Praying God surrounds you with peace.
Very much appreciated Fran.
Oh Tiff, so sorry to hear what happened with your Dad. I’m keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings,
Sandor
Thank you Sandor
So sorry to hear about your dad. Thinking of you and sending big hugs from the U.K. Hope he gets well soon. What bugs me is that don’t the people who post on facebook think… oh wait, I better tell my family first…so inconsiderate.
Thank you Dionne! My sister’s charger wasn’t with her and I guess I’ve softened on it. She said she had info coming at her 100 mph and she was concerned about dad. My aunt should have called me though. Grr
My prayers for him, for you, and all your family members.
Tell your dad to hurry up n get healthy n get out of hospital,as there’s loads more people who want hi bed!.
I will Jameel! Thank you
Hi Tiffany, as I told you over Facebook, yesterday afternoon I went to the church and I ha light up three candles. One for me, one for my family, and one for you, with the prayers that this unlucky moment can go away, leaving you with tranquillity and serenity.
I wish you the best from life, and I hope your dad can get back to normal conditions.
Thanks so much for updating us, I appreciate it.
See you soon and good Sunday,
Alessandro Zamboni
Alessadnro I am so grateful to you. Thank you!
oh Tiff, my thoughts and prayers and virtual hugs are being sent through the universe to you and your Dad.
Daddies are so special to us daughters, we are always their “princesses”. My Dad still calls me Princess and I am 43! (but love it)
Your Daddy must be so proud of what you have accomplished – your beautiful kids, your great hubby, your successful career. And what a blessing that you will be able to hop on a plane with the kids and go see him when he is out of ICU!
keep us posted on how he is doing. He sounds like he is a fighter and that is a huge blessing all unto itself
Yes Karen
He’d be impressed with my career and he would love my babies!
I’m driving to Florida – I don’t fly. Scaredy cat! Plus, it’d cost way more with 4 people to fly than drive – takes me 10-13 hours to drive it in one shot. Leave at 5 AM.
okay, well when you drive, drive carefully! I get the whole scared of planes thing too
I will
My God tells me he is no respecter of persons. I have had three mild strokes and enlarged prostate. I had a catheter for 9 weeks and the operation which was a success. The first surgeon said i was too much of a risk at my age and diabetes and heart disease.
The senior surgeon said i will do him. It has been wonderful. What God has done for me he can do it for your Dad Tiffany. That includes restoration of speech. I jumbled my words. Now i an back preaching in public.
He is a Korean vet like me, disease does not take us. We will simply fade away.
Oh that’s wonderful Cyril! Thanks for letting me know that.
Yes he’s a vet from World War II, Korea and Viet Nam. A fighter. ((hugs))
Just saw your latest update on FB. So rude of the techs to wake him up that way! Glad to hear he is feisty as that is a good sign!
It is good that you are going to head out there to see him. Drive careful!
Prayers and good thoughts are continuing for you and your family {hugs}.
Yes. I’m glad he’s energetic
We’ll be very careful!
Tiffany,
My heart goes out to you and your family. As I read some of the comments, they are supportive.
Our prayers good thought are coming your way.
May God comfort you as He touches the lives surrounding your dad.
Thank you Susan.
My prayers are with your dad and your family. I hope he makes a good recovery.
thanks Liz!
Tiffany, sorry to hear about your dad, I know it’s tough being so far away. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
It sounds like he’s an independent guy who doesn’t like not being able to do everything for himself, a lot like my dad who’s 88 years old.
I’m glad to hear he’s showing some improvement and is feeling better. Stay safe on your trip.
Yep he is
Tiffany,
I am sending you my prayers and good thoughts from Denver, Co.
Sometimes we are not as strong as we think when it comes to famiy but life is full of Miracles.
God Bless you and yours
Thank you Nellie!
Was thinking of you today. Hope your father is getting better. My prayers are with your father and family.
Cynthia
Thanks Cynthia!
Tiff,
I know I said this to you on Facebook and I wanted to say it again here as well, my family and our church our praying for you, your dad and your whole family.
I know it is not easy going through this and I hope with all my heart that your dad gets better and has many more years with you.
Thank you Debora! Must be working. He’s on the upswing he says
Long road ahead though.
I was worried when I read your angry Tweets today about the family planning to let your dad go back to living with his sister who clearly is in early stages of mental problems….
Looking for your next post to update us on events… get your honey badger or and kick butt til common sense prevails.
Oh that’s so frustrating.