Self-Directed Learning and Exit Strategies
January 23rd, 2013
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Author: Hi everyone! Today I want to talk to you about two things that inspired me. Well, they inspired me long ago and I LIVE them and they’re what separates me from the quitters and failures, so I thought I’d share in case it helps you, too.
Embracing Self-Directed Learning
The first thing was what I heard today when I attended the “Going into high school” meeting at my son’s school. My kids attend THE top college preparatory school in our metroplex – my alma mater.
I sent them there because I know I was an A, B, C (okay and the occasional D during boy crazy times) student when I was in high school. But I got to college and I was on the Dean’s List – straight As – effortlessly. It was incredibly easy for me. So I wanted my kids to have the same head start in life. That’s why I work so hard to send them there.
Today’s meeting was about how they’re considering switching up the regular 6-class, 50 minute increment schedule because they’re evolving with the future – and learning today may not mean you need to physically be in front of your teacher daily, or for a rigid 50 minutes each class period.
They’re moving toward embracing more of a self-directed learning schedule. The head of the upper school talked about how he achieved his goals because he’s the type of person who sees an obstacle and works his mind to figure out how to overcome it. He enjoys the process.
He wants the kids to be that way, too. Think about it – all great innovators and leaders have had this same “self-directed” mindset. We call them “go getters” but really, the only difference between them and the other types of people are that they aren’t waiting for someone else to figure things out for them – to hold their hand.
With Internet Marketing, you’re never EVER going to succeed if you’re reliant on others for success. That doesn’t include delegating or outsourcing. It means never expecting someone else to hand you every bit of information on a silver platter.
Every product out there is lacking. Mine too! In some way, I’m sure there are questions or steps that someone wanted that aren’t in there. I made it as comprehensive as possible, but it’s not perfect.
Every leader out there lacks knowledge in some way. Me too! There are tons of things I don’t know. So if you relied on me to teach you and you needed an answer to something and I didn’t know, what would you do? Would you dig until you found the answer?
Most people don’t, actually. But I’ll bet most of you said, “Yes.” Most people keep asking others. They’ll email me, then PotPieGirl, then someone else, etc. When what they really needed to do was search online for the answer OR … something I did even in the video tutorial I made today about drop down page menus – PLAY around with a concept until you DO “get it.”
This is SO so very important. The head of the upper school was talking about the power of failure, yet people I talk to in this niche are embarrassed to make even the tiniest mistake.
They feel scared, intimidated – yet this is a SOLO career. The speaker said, “If you win, all you do is celebrate. But if you fail, you become better and better and push yourself harder and become stronger.”
Every single successful person I’ve ever read about, watched on TV or talked to has a zillion (and 1) failures under his or her belt. How many are you willing to brag about? Or, are you only willing to brag – once you become a success?
You should be proud of your own self-directed journey right now. The power you have in unearthing new ideas and new abilities in yourself is incredible and something you should be tooting your own horn about.
Do You Have an Exit Strategy?
Do you have a mindset of, “Well if it doesn’t work out, I can always…?”
If so, you’re not committed to this career. Mark Cuban said, “Don’t start a company unless it’s an obsession and something you love. If you have an exit strategy, it’s not an obsession.”
If ALL this is is a way to pay some bills, then that is not a career you’re passionate about. You really have to want this. You have to enjoy research and sharing and leadership and learning and yes, failing. You have to be able to laugh when you flub something and have to redo it or figure out what works.
Having an exit strategy – a “what if” in your head is a huge obstacle that prevents you from pushing as hard as you have to in order to make this work. It’s a way to validate your excuses.
So today, I want you to throw away your what ifs…your exit plans. If this doesn’t work, you will be homeless, starving and miserable. Even if it’s not true, pretend like it is. Whatever has to work to light a fire under your ass.
For me, it’s my kids not being allowed to go to their school. I would be devastated. I worry every day about their tuition. There are no “exit strategies” for me because it’s do or die time.
How do I push myself when I have the flu or my relationship is crumbling and I feel like crying? I think about tuition. HAS to get done. And I LOVE helping others. I crave it.
If I stopped making enough money to support us and I HAD to go get a job, I would. I’m not stupid. I have mouths to feed. But I would NOT quit this, either. I would continue working it in my spare time – and yes, during work hours on the sly (wrong, I know – sue me) – but I wouldn’t quit it.
Does this make sense? How giving yourself leeway is a way to NOT push through your reservations and put yourself out there 110%?
I hope so. Because those that get it will hopefully be able to squash those exit plans and the fact that this is IT for you might help you make some serious changes in how you’re pursuing your online business.
Tiff 
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Tiff? You. Are. Awesome!
You are too!
LOL…I was thinking about this today when I was looking at a negative comment (an ugly comment) made about me and Google alerts emailed me. I never did find out where it came from and can’t imagine what I said or did.
Anyway, it just made me want to dig til I found out if I did make some horrid mistake and fix it or is a Google + er didn’t like something. I don’t have an escape hatch in my submarine. I’m completely submerged.
Nicely written, Tiffany.
This is it for me… there’s no turning back! I started many of my online adventures because somebody else told me I couldn’t succeed at this business model.
Well, that’s enough to light a fire under anybody, but then as time went on, I found I had a real knack for writing step by step tutorials.
I enjoy getting the feedback. I love the idea that someone tells me that I broke the code for them, or that I figured something out that they couldn’t do on their own.
I don’t know everything and I’l be the first to admit it. Though, the things I do know, I’m capable and willing to teach.
Sometimes, getting as busy as we do, we forget some of the things we take for granted that others have yet to learn.
That’s when I rely on those following me to give me a nudge now and then. Don’t be shy, I pray – just ask away!
Thanks for all the sharing you do and for turning on countless light bulbs for me.
And that makes you approachable – the fact that you don’t pretend to know everything.
Great points. The exit strategy thing is especially relevant to me right now, because last year I switched my business model and started over from scratch, doing what I really love (design-based work, rather than the writing I used to do).
I had many doubts to start with, wondering if it would work out financially. For months I kept feeling like I should go back to writing, because I knew I could make money with that. But I finally realised that if I wanted to be happy, I didn’t have a choice.
Over the last few months my income has increased and become more stable, even though I’m not yet where I want to be in terms of earnings (I predict that’ll take another 1-2 years). But it wasn’t until I got past my mental ‘flip flopping’ that I started putting in the necessary consistent effort to make this work.
And it was such a relief, to finally make that commitment 100%! It’s a peaceful feeling, to just wake up each day & get on with what needs to be done, without all the doubts I used to have.
You’re right about the emotional part of it Cat. You DO find peace when you shut that door behind you.
Tiff, this IS my escape hatch! LOL! I did some mental flop-flopping as well. Now I find myself calling it fun. Such a difference. We need more income and it’s either this or something that may not fit my skills that well, and probably doesn’t have great pay here in my small city. That sounds paralyzing to me.
This will work no matter what because I’ll find ways around the obstacles each day. Thanks for a great post!
Good thinking Erika
Wow – it’s like your some super hero mindreader, Tiff! I was just thinking along these lines this morning as I let my dogs out – how people tell me, “But Mary … I’m not a writer!”
Well, I wasn’t either when I started out online. Neither was I a: Publisher, a Photo Editor, a Video Creator, or WordPress & Social Media savvy.
The only way you acquire new skills is by DOING! Not by checking your email every 15 minutes or fixating on your stats (or lack of them!)
With online tutorials at your finger tips, there’s no excuse, the only excuse you have for lack of skills is lack of effort. Even taking just 15-20 minutes a day to learn or build a skill will get you “Up & Running Online” (smile) in baby steps, but you’ll still make forward progress.
Thanks for another great post that resonates with me (and my target audience!)
We think alike Mary!
You have to have a high level of independent thinking to do this.
If you’re the kind who wants every little detail handed to you, and you’re allergic to failing you really can’t make in this world.
What you said about having an exit strategy is so true. As long as you have that just in case attitude you can’t commit yourself 100%.
You’re either a victim or a creator.
Exactly Pamela!
“If you win, all you do is celebrate. But if you fail, you become better and better and push yourself harder and become stronger.”
What a great quote! I put this on a Sticky Note on my computer screen. Things have been tough for the past year, but I am determined to have this year be great. My husband is even recommending that I quit all my other freelance work and go full-time into Internet marketing. He is finally(!) a convert after my consistent small earnings for the past few months.
This post helped set the tone for my day. Thanks!!!
That is great Linda! Glad he’s supportive of it
This is so great! There should be more schools that encourage self-directed learning. 90% of everything I know I’ve taught myself.
I was a really bad student. School was extremely boring for me and I am inherently very lazy LOL! So once I realized that I could get by with not doing homework and acing the big tests, that’s what I did.
But even though I hated schoolwork, I’ve always loved learning. It’s what makes me feel alive and what intrigued me about internet marketing at first. I read about someone complaining that there’s always so much more to learn. That sounded perfect for me LOL!
You’re right about the exit strategy. If you don’t burn all the ships, you’ll be tempted to tuck in your tail and give up once things get though. You won’t be giving it all you got, because if it doesn’t work out – so what? No big loss.
At first it stressed me out beyond belief that I can’t get a regular job if this doesn’t work out the way it should. But in the past few months I’ve realized that this “problem” is what keeps me going despite all the bad luck lately.
At some point you have to decide if you want to commit to it fully or not. And sometimes that decision is made for you =)
Meeee too re: boring Lisa. THAT was it – the ship burning analogy! I could not remember it for the life of me. LOL!
Hi Tiff.
Blast from the past here. Although I don’t post often, I read nearly every post you put up. Tbis one’s great.
Inspiration, motivation and education.
What more could anyone need. Have to agree with you on self-education.
I’d say a lot more but it runs on forever. So I’ll leave it at that on here…the rest is in your inbox.
Appreciating you as always!
Robbie
Thank you Robbie
Wonderful and timely post!
I was thinking about this last week and reminded myself that I had put in too much time, effort and money to just quit.
And, if I did quit, what would I do or where would I get the money to provide for my kids and myself???
I am a true believer or being self-sufficient and resourceful. Just last night, I was reminded of how much information is out there just for the taking. I don’t believe there’s anything you need to know how to do that has not been addressed on YouTube!
Even though life has thrown me some vicious curves over the past couple of months and I have lost most of my motivation and desire to move forward with my goals, I know that I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
For the past week, I have been telling myself that … “I have no lifelines! I have no escape plan! I have no other way out!”
Therefore, I MUST do this and I MUST make it work!!!!
When all else is crumbling around me and I feel horrible physically, I’ve been trying to keep a positive frame of mind. I’m trying real hard now to work through these personal and health issues and keep moving toward my goals so I can realize my dream and have the business and life I want and deserve.
Tiff, it has not been easy but your posts and the comments left by others inspire me to keep going and not give up.
This “self-directed” mindset is such a wonderful thing to learn or subscribe to, especially for young folks in high school and entering college. Having the opportunity to send your children to a school that fosters this thinking process, among other wonderful things, is definitely worth the investment. Kudos to you, Tiff, for doing what it takes to make it happen for them and for you.
Iris good for you for pushing through the difficult times. We’re here as a support system!
For a pick me up, grab a cuppa, take 15 minutes and watch validation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao – Can’t help but smile when I watch it.
Cuppa in hand. Off to watch! Thanks Robbie
Tiff I wrote about this a couple of weeks ago. I was sort of deciding I’d give up at the end of 2012 if I wasn’t earning anything. Then I realized that attitude would guarantee me failing. I do not like failing! Failure would mean we would have to live on the pension. We did some calculations and with our monthly outgoings (car payments, insurance, credit card etc etc, we could pay everything but there wasn’t any money left over for food.
Failure is not an option. Besides, I absolutely love what I’m doing. I’m off to do some more succeeding!
Good for you Kathy! Perfect attitude to have
Thanks, Tiff!
Can you believe that I was ALSO diagnosed with extreme Vitamin D deficiency!?!?!
The Vitamin D deficiency may be a direct link to an extreme elevation in my blood pressure to where it has been 150+/100+ on most days for the past month and a half.
I have also noticed that I have had very little energy or desire to work online. I’ve had to dig deep to find the motivation to do something every day. Since I’ve started taking medication for this condition, I am seeing an increase in my energy and more clarity and motivation over the past week.
I really appreciate the support and all your personal stories, life lessons, and inspiring blog posts you share.
Oh no! Well the good news is, it’ll make you feel so much better when it’s back up! You already are and it’ll get even better
Oh and you just reminded me to take my pill! LOL
I think some of this has to do with “what type of learner” someone is individually.
I am a visual learner and a question asker. I read, but I don’t learn as fast that way. In school, I could sit in class and listen – ask a few questions and watch what was going on on the board in front. Get an A and just skim over the book.
If I just read technical stuff my eyes glaze over and my brain wanders. But I watch it on video and listen and I catch on right away.
I have always been told I ask a lot of questions!
Craig D. said I am a visual person. Thise two are right on.
I think it is different learning styles.
Mary
Yes that too! I’m a reader. Sometimes I need visual like if it’s technical.
Glad to see the schools are moving forward from the cookie-cutter approach, but are they still taking into consideration that the kids all learn differently and that some may actually require more direction? If everyone could do it the way successful entrepreneurs do it, more would be.
Not to mention you’re still dealing with parents and generations who have no idea how to assist in moving kids that direction because they’re used to being told what to do.
Here’s what’s wonderful so far. School for 9th-12th doesn’t officially start until 9:10. But all the teachers are there from 8:10-9:10 available to help kids, let them do projects or homework in their rooms, etc. They also have a T period during the day for the same thing. And kids really do take advantage of it. The middle school has another thing after school where teachers are there for additional help. But you’re right – there will be rigid parents who gripe, I’m sure – because they want a hands off approach themselves and want the school to handle it all.
So cool! And yes, you’ll have the “But now my kid has to come in early or stay late because (s)he doesn’t get it” blah blah. Hopefully for the kids, most of the parents will be able to see that the way we were taught doesn’t really lend itself to out-of-the-box thinking and over-achievement for the majority.
And hey, maybe the school could have a time to educate parents and answer their questions too for a while.
They do. It’s such an awesome school. They have monthly “learning lunches” for the parents with the headmaster. He travels globally to learn new things. All teachers read a new motivational/learning book each month (the school as a whole). The headmaster spent his summer up at Google meeting with the creators of Google to absorb their innovations. He’s an awesome headmaster – he’s always got a smile (genuine) and he’s a West Point grad. Love the school so much.