Thankless Selfish Subscribers Who Have No Business in Internet Marketing
September 2nd, 2011 | 
Author: I’m about to go Honey Badger on someone so you’ve been warned. I did a video blog about it which you REALLY should watch if you can do video. It just has a better effect than mere text can do. But if you can’t do video, read my words below. Don’t worry about the red face and veins popping out of my head – I calm down in the end. LOL!
Bad Customer Service Is Reserved for Bad Customers by TiffanyDow
Okay On August 29th I receive an email. I have a ton of emails – tons. But one titled “SOS” makes me click it first. Why? Because that person’s in a panic and I know that’s an awful feeling and I want to help. I click it and read the following:
Hi Tiffany, I have a website since June, but I have no idea about affiliate marketing or how to manage it. I am trying but so far I haven’t earned anything, I just spent.. I am a 47 year old unemployed housewife mother of two boys who really needs some help here. visit my site and how you can help or we can help each other. thanks. D
She gives me her URL, which I’m not sharing here because she doesn’t DESERVE a backlink from my site. So what do I do next? I put off my OWN work – stuff that makes ME money and I go to her site to write up an analysis for her because I’m thinking she just described ME when I quit my job from the bank due to a sick child – I was an unemployed housewife with two boys who needed to make money. I wanted to reach out and help her.
I go to her site and write her back and then, because it’s a common problem I see AND because I know many on MY list would benefit from it, I make a blog post about it (NOT using her name or URL) to help others! See #3 for what I wrote about her site here.
Here’s the email I sent her back IN ADDITION to the blog post I made:
Hey D!
Start here then get back to me with your questions:
http://www.tiffanydow.com/blog/an-open-letter-to-internet-marketing-newbies/
First things first – looking at your site:
The domain says traveling and cooking – two totally separate markets. But then I land and see it’s food you can have while traveling.
Hard market to monetize.
How are you trying to make money? Just see a few adsense looking ads and amazon links.
You need a niche where you can:
-create an ebook
-have a daily blog topic with ads
-promote tangibles and digital products as an affiliateThis could be cooking. OR traveling. I wouldn’t pair them.
If I was going to do either niche, I’d have a specific narrow slant.
I see the log content but what’s your specific slant? The site says food and travel but I see articles on escalators. What does that have to do w/food and travel?
It has to do w/travel, but not food – and you paired the two
Think branding. How would you like to brand yourself in the coming years? As the person who teaches others how to cook like they’re sampling a taste of the world? As the expert who knows more travel tips than anyone else?
Make a plan for what you want and then figure out how to get there. You have the basics down for blogging and everything – you just need niche direction.
See I invite her to read the letter first because I know she’s doing it backwards – starting with low paying AdSense and affiliate marketing (using ONLY an Amazon search box). But I ALSO invite her to contact me after reading the other advice above so I can help her MORE. What a terrible person I am.
I then go post the blog so I can help others. It’s not ONLY so I can help others. Know why ELSE I make blog posts out of real situations? It’s because I have some freaking savvy people on my subscriber base and THEY are awesome enough to also give THEIR helpful insight, too! So I figured D might be lucky enough to get a TON of free helpful advice from people WAY ahead of her in the game.
…Which if you look at the comments, Paula and Rachel DID do for this D person. And Linda thanked me for the lesson as a reminder. And so did Sharon. And it opened up another question by Dennis.
All is smooth until I wake up to this email this morning, which made me spit nails out of my mouth:
Hi Tiffany,
Thank you for answering this e-mail,
But to tell you the truth, I found your next blog talking about me, quite offensive.
First of all, travelling is not misspelled. But neither is traveling. Travelling is the English version of the word and Traveling is the American version. Like the word colour,is the English version and color is the American version. That’s for your first comment which I found really “not nice”. And maybe you should write the site’s url on your blog. People would decide for themselves.
I didn’t design the website, somebody else did that for me and I didn’t write the articles, I am just starting, as I have said in my first e-mail. And I didn’t use your blog to communicate, I sent the e-mail to you, as I do now. But as I have understood, from your comments on the blog, not your reply to me, I shouldn’t contact you. It was very wrong of me. I visited your blog and I see on the sides ads like mine, like the ones that you made fun off.
So, I apologize for subscribing on your blog I will unsubscribe immediately. You should thank me actually, I gave you a subject to talk about, as I do now. But next time when you want to insult somebody be sure of what you are talking about and I mean the travelling/traveling. How would you like me to say these on your blog?Thanks for the advice
D
Don’t thank me with sarcasm dripping off your damn mouth, D. You’re too ignorant to realize what an insane opportunity you had for some hand holding by a wonderful community!
All you had to do was say, “Oh hey – yeah I did travelling with two Ls because it’s the UK English version” (or whatever). Know what I would have said? “Oh, okay, cool.” And MOVED on! But you had to get your panties in a wad for someone trying to HELP you – are you freaking KIDDING me?
Then you go on to ask that I put your URL here – LMFAO no way in hell honey! You don’t deserve a backlink or any additional help from ANY of us. You screwed yourself with this email to me. Thankless, selfish subscriber is what describes you to a T.
Next D goes on to say she didn’t design the website, didn’t write the articles. You didn’t tell me that in your first email! All you did was ask me to take time out of MY day to help YOU and listed your URL. And now you’re getting mad at ME for that? What are you smoking, D?
She then gets all mad because she used EMAIL – not my BLOG – to contact me. And therefore she feels my reply should have been email only. Really? You selfish person! You think the REST of my subscribers – hell, PAYING customers – shouldn’t get to learn from the TIME I took out of my day to analyze a site with a bad monetization plan? Why is this? Oh I forgot – you’re ENTITLED to free, personal one on one mentoring, right, D?
I should have 9,000 people email me directly with personal one on one help via EMAIL so that I have to analyze EACH site individually instead of making a blog post and helping everyone at the same time. Because MY kids don’t need to eat. MY kids don’t need their tuition paid. I should only help YOUR freaking family, right D?
And you have the NERVE to say I should THANK YOU for giving me blog fodder? Really D? Look at that blog post and in #3 where I talk about you, you show me WHERE I have a link to a SINGLE thing that sells an info product or makes me money of any kind. There isn’t one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why?
Because it’s called being HELPFUL FOR FREE. It’s called looking out for my list and helping one person and helping them ALL and NOT making them PAY a single freaking penny for my insight.
And you want to go threaten to say these things on my blog? Bring it! I’m gonna say them FOR you, D – because your stupidity and selfishness is a lesson in itself. It’s something I want ALL newbies on my list to recognize if they’re acting this way. AND it’s a lesson in how to help people and how when THEY are leaders in THEIR niche, they’re going to have thankful people and people like you – who think the world revolves around them.
Just for the record I’m going to post my official email reply to D here too:
D – there are two types of people in this world. Those who would look at my analysis and say “WOW! Thanks for taking the time to help me move ahead!” And those who whine about it and say, “You hurt my feelings – even though you didn’t use my name or website URL.”
How sad that you’re of the latter mindset. You could have easily pointed out WHY you chose that spelling and smiled about it. Who in the hell ever said you shouldn’t contact me? Your blog was a good lesson for others.
I often use real life examples and assumed you’d be thrilled to get the feedback since I took time out of MY busy day to help someone looking for FREE information.
My bad.
The difference between MY ads and YOUR ads is mine are little supplements – and links to info products as well which I’ve personally tried and reviewed. Your blog posts don’t promote anything for sale, so how do you expect to make money? If I only made money with AdSense from my blog I’d go broke fast!
You don’t have to worry about saying this on my blog – I’m about to say it for you!
Never contact me again for help. I don’t like wasting my time on people with thin skin who only want someone to praise them for all their failures.
Whew! That was cathartic. Listen, if I’m offensive to you, I get it – go somewhere else. I don’t lie to people. I don’t scam people. I am BLUNT because I don’t have time to write a page coddling you and cushioning your feelings just to get to the bottom line. I’m in a hurry, too!
I have mouths to feed. So you got your feelings hurt. Boo freaking hoo, D! You should have listened to my advice and that of the others and kept in touch with me to maybe MAKE a penny online but you were more concerned about your what, reputation? LMAO no domain or name was used, so I hope you see how ridiculous you are.
If anyone wants to contact me for help – know this – I USE examples on this blog. I USE emails to help others. If you don’t lke that, ask someone else. Go to some guru with ahelpdesk and let’s see if he or she takes the time to PERSONALLY analyze your sites and write a response and get others to help you too.
Yeah, good luck with that!
I have work to do now – weight loss PLR on how it affects your joints – and ghostwriting, too! Money to be made.
Tiff
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Posted in Career
Gosh Tiff, what scares me about this is that like you I try to help people. If I got that kind of email from a subscriber I would cry! But hey, you have all of us who do appreciate you for all your help and your honesty, and all she has now is her noneffective blog which will never make her any money. I am very thankful for all you do. And sorry for you that you got such a horrible letter after trying to help someone!
lol it’s okay Heather I’m actually laughing now – I love getting mad, but not hurt – and this didn’t hurt me one bit.
I can relate to this post, Honey Badger!
Last week, I had a similar experience. I go a telephone call from somebody that wanted my advice. I gave it to him, but unfortunately, it was not what he wanted to hear.
The caller wanted an instant, push button solution to making $200 a day. He was unwilling to go through the business building process that I had laid out for him. Instead, he refunded on three recently purchased products and filed a chargeback on two that were purchased months ago.
I’m gonna make a packet of money tree seeds (filled with dingleberries) that people like that can plant.
You crack me up Tiff, this made my day… especially the comment re dingleberries! can i share this post on FB?
People can really be jerks sometimes – i often see people ‘choosing’ to be offended as a form of gratuitous ego boosting.. giving significance to their shallow lives.. how empty must someone be to jump on the first opportunity to ‘be offended’ and place you as a debtor for their forgiveness..
extreme arrogance..
Sure Brian!
Whew! That was a read
Remind me not to get on your bad side LOL
She just does not “get it” yet Tiff.
never will! lol
Tiffany For President 2012!!
I’m writing you in on my ballot!
- Steve Dougherty
I swear I’m thinking about running on the HB platform.
Wow! Wow!
Hey, Tiffany – I definitely see the cathartic part of this for you. I hope this experience is truly a rare thing.
There are many people that can benefit from the helpful comments, whether via email or your blog!
I do feel a bit sorry for D – she’s gotten all this fame, but all anonymously. What a Missed Opportunity there!
Looking forward to hearing the emotions dripping out of your video when it’s available.
Cheers!
Tim
It’s not common – I get far more successes than these Nellies. Is the video not available?
Yes, the video became available by the time I finished writing my comment.
She doesn’t care a thing about you and you are over here having a heart attack? Remember, when you get angry at someone it hurts you a lot more than it hurts them.
Not at all! Did you see me smile in the end? I love a good rant about what’s bugging me! Took 14 minutes to make a video and now I can go on feeling personal satisfaction over what she’s getting from me today in reply. I’m not hurt in the least bit. I get a good lesson out of it for my subscribers on either side – marketer helping or newbie learning – and she gets what – nothing!?
Wow! Never mess with a Texas gal, especially one who knows what she is talking about.
I’m reminded of the movie Million Dollar Baby. The daughter gave her mother a house and the mother’s comment was great now I won’t qualify for welfare.
If you run for Prez let me know I’d vote for you twice.
Barney
LOL! Good story
Thank you Barney for reminding me about the film and that scene it made me laugh Thanks again
Charles
I wouldn’t want to run into you in a dark alley…;) teehee!
Aww we’d get along well
Breathe, Tiff. Just breathe.
There. Isn’t that better now?
lol yep! I was smiling by the end of the video
~
Hi Tiff – this is way too good and love your whole rant… right on! I’ve been in this role before, not on site development (i don’t know squat) but about my main business, the time I wasted was spent trying to help people on the phone. The difference for me was that I can be gullible and a tad slow in the learning process sometimes and in my case, being taken advantage of. I just thank god I finally learned my lesson after about 2 years time… told ya I was a tad slow
Good rant and loved the video.
And all I can say is “good luck” to this gal D because she sure is going to need it!
Rick
Agree Rick!
Ahh…she probably should have gone through some of your previous blog posts, or better still, joined the Warrior Forum and read your posts before contacting you for help. What I wouldn’t do to get a site analysis…! Anyway, I do thank her for asking for your help in the first place because now I’m gonna take those FREE lessons you gave her and implement them. And when I’m through, I’ll be coming back for more.
LOL great Sharon! The lesson wasn’t wasted – except on her.
I am guessing she annoyed you slightly then Tiff?
Well done for saying what needed saying – there are so many people online and offline who do not know the meaning of the words “Please” and “Thank you” and this person seems to have missed out on all those basic courtesy lessons.
I was going to respond from my iPad whilst travelling (as we say here in the UK LOL) but thought I best get home and get some food first – travelling and eating never sit well together for me
Slightly Paul because I think of all the grateful people who could have been helped. But really, the post did help others so it wasn’t wasted I guess
No it wasn’t wasted at all and like you said – the community that has been created here also chipped in and helped – which is a fantastic tribute to you!
Go, HB!
I think you just decided your red blood cells needed some exercise – so you got your blood pressure to 298/160 and made ‘em run around real fast LOL
Thankless is everywhere; she will continue to fail until she quits thinking everything is “owed” to her…
Classic street quote on that type: “he so sour, if someone gave him free drugs, he’d be mad he didn’t get a discount” LOL
LOL a health tactic – I likey!
Hi Tiff,
I this is a good moment to thank you in public for the great advice you gave me when I contacted you.
you are too good for your own good.
Thanks again, from the bottom of my heart.
Sandra
Well I don’t recall what it was but you’re welcome and thanks for being thankful! LOL!
That is sad and disappointing. I did ask you a few personal questions by email and you came back with quick straight answers. I respected your time and tried to limit my questions, but out of all the emails you get I was thrilled that you even took the time out of your busy schedule to answer questions that I’m sure for you were…..boring!
I am a big fan of your plr, I only ask questions now if I truly have to because of how grateful I am that you even bothered with me but in return though, I trust anything you promote or sell. Thank you for sharing.
I don’t answering emails – especially if I can turn them into blog lessons for others
Okay so I’m a Brit, but I’m pretty sure that you spell “dickhead” the same both sides of the water!
Did “D” unsubscribe?
LOL Robert not sure but tonight I’m unsubbing D from my lists. Want to make sure she gets this one.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! nice
In Australia we spell it Richard Cranium.
I’m sittin under my desk typing this is it safe to come out now.
But it did bring back a few thoughts from the past.
1) K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Silly
2) Do one thing at a time and do it right
3) Plan your work and Work your plan.
It’s safe Stan
HB is gone.
Hi Tiff,
I say keep up the bluntness!
I think you’re right that some people want to be praised, but there are plenty out there who come to people like yourself, precisely *because* they know they will get honesty.
It’s a good reputation to have.
I certainly appreciate the feedback you’ve given me – I have a list of people that I know will give it to me straight, and they are refreshing to find!
Cheers,
Gordon
Thanks Gordon
If anyone has followed you for any length of time as D obviously has, they would know that you are honest. So, yes, it surprising that they ask for your feedback and then get offended when you give it in a way they don’t like. It’s not about you, it’s about them. Keep doing what your doing-I love it and you have a legion of others that do, too! I just love it when you release your inner honey badger!!!! Grrrr!!!!
That may be another lesson Tracy – asking people for advice not knowing much about them. If she knew me, she’d know I do lessons like that!
Yowza that would frustrate me. I had something like that happen a forum once when someone asked the same question in at least two different spots. I took the time to answer then nicely commented that it’s frustrating to have two threads going on the identical question. They yelled back that who the he’ll was I to suggest that and didn’t even come close to thanking me for my time. I felt annoyed until other members backed me up and I blocked the member from contacting me again! Some ppl can be way too rude
Yep! Very Clefty
Girl I love your posts and vids. But I do think you should tell us how you *really* feel!
lol. I love how your community totally supports you when you are spitting nails; how awesome is that?!?
Rock on…
I’m too shy Cynthea
Tiffany,
You go Honey Badger! I just had to let you know that this same woman has been on at least four or five calls I’ve been on over the past six weeks – with all the same issues and defensive attitude. Each educator pointed out the two topics are not connected and suggested changes. She actually came back on three of them like she did you. However, there were also wise enough not to use her name or URL and withheld specific information. My theory is that she is cursing the net looking for an easy mark and some quick legal action.
I will keep you posted if she shows up again anytime soon.
From the inner core of my heart THANK YOU for all that you do, the time you give and the fact that you are open enough to allow us to contact you with valid concerns or questions. I appreciate that about you more than you will ever know.
Back to work now, and maybe have a piece of chocolate or a Honey Hug.
Wow how awesome is she then not learning her lesson! LOL
Well this is one heck of a post. I tell you though, I am in my beginning stage of putting a blog up and if I were in that persons’ shoe and I needed help and would of received your recommendations (like you to her), I would of considered it constructive criticism at the least, at the most I would say I received pure golden nuggets of tips from you. I don’t post much here but I read much here and I’ve learned plenty just reading your posts, including comments. Too bad, she lost out big on valuable feedback.
agree Zoe!
Hi, Tiff,
I have to chime in with many thanks, too. You have answered my questions more than once, and even took a look at one of my sites over a while back. Thanks to your answers and help, that site is making money, now. Not much, due to my lack of time to implement everything I now know to do, but it is making some. More importantly, other sites I have are also making a little money here and there due to the same advice. I think I need to take your earlier advice and get rid of a few sites to give me more time to work on the best ones.
Anyway, “Don’t mess with Texas!” is serious stuff. Go get’em, HB, and keep those lessons coming! The rest of us NEED and WANT them.
That’s wonderful Linda!!
Tiff,
Heaven knows I’ve learned oodles from you, your very well written articles and your blog.
You GO, girl! I have to agree with you about how so many people feel ENTITLED to whatever these days without ever putting any effort into anything. That alone irks me to no end. Then they get all defensive when you point it out to them.
Cudos for the rant – I admire a woman who can take the bit in her teeth and chew it to shreds
Keep up the good work(s)!
Hey Rachel not only did Tif chew that bit to pieces she spit out nails. Love it.
Stan
You know Tiff, you’d make a great teacher. The kids would be super scared of you and won’t ever dare to make you mad, haha.
I subbed once – the kids scared the shit out of ME.
Sheesh, Tiffany, what you did for her is called “coaching” and you could have charged an arm and a leg for it.
You didn’t mention her in any identifiable way at ALL in your very helpful blog post, so she has no business taking offense.
It’s a lesson, though: I had a friend who was sobbing all over me about no way to promote her services and how, if only someone would show her what to do, her business would take off. So I helped her get a domain (perfect keyword), found her a great free WP template (since she didn’t want to pay for one), wrote 10 original, niche-targeted blog posts to get her started, set up her blog, set a fixed page as her home page showcasing her services and wrote her a total newbie MANUAL – simplified to the essentials — on how to update and manage her actual blog posts and keep her plugins current, etc. You can guess that took a good chunk of time out of my work week.
She hasn’t done a single thing with her blog/site in a year. Except criticize it for not getting enough traffic to make her a millionaire (whatever happened to providing *services*???)
But that’s okay. At least the fact she hasn’t done anything with it has stopped her pestering me for marketing help 24/7. An unexpected but frankly relieving side-effect.
My English north-country Grandma had a saying which totally mystified me as a child, but which now springs suddenly to mind: “You’ll get nowt from a pig but a grunt.”
Wow I’d be livid Marya! lol
Tiffany, you’ve generously helped me and countless others, and it would be tragic if this one stupidly ungrateful person should make you hesitant to go on sharing your wisdom. The problem is so many of us sit quietly back appreciating your blog posts and your courses and your hands on help without telling you often enough how grateful we are. Well honey, I’m telling you now. We’re out here, and you are rare and unique among marketers. Keep on keeping on, and let D self destruct–it’s inevitable.
Aww thanks Bobby! I never feel unappreciated unless someone is blatantly rude like this lady. Otherwise I know how much it means to the others. I’ve been there
Whoa… Kick Butt… You go girl… I couldn’t get the video to load, but the text got the message across real good! LOL…
I’ve had my share of thankless people too and I know that feeling well… many have taken advantage of me too… I’ve designed complete websites and logos or whatever trying to help others and never even got a Thanx! They just took it and ran… live and learn…
Sad thing is… it makes you hesitant to help that someone who really needs it and who may be thankful… those are the ones that lose out… all because of those thankless and selfish ones…
Hope you feel better now that you’ve vented…
I never hesitate to help others. Now if the MAJORITY were thankless I’d quit helping but they’re not. I feel great now
Hi Tiffany…I’ve been keeping up with your emails/posts and love your style. I also admire the way your readers connect with you as well.
I wonder if this whole blowup could have been avoided if you let her know before the blog post went up that you were going to do that. While you didn’t mention her name, it was very specific and probably personal to her. If she’d known ahead of time that it was going to be posted and that you were doing it for the purpose of helping others too, she probably would have been more agreeable. Just trying to look at it from both sides.
Also, I think there is niche for travel cooking. For example, backpackers who have to pack light and prepare nutritious foods. It may not be a huge niche and I don’t know exactly what she was going on her site, but I wouldn’t dismiss it right out of hand.
Take care.
Hey Alice!
I understand the thinking but at the same time I could say she had no business asking me for advice if she didn’t know me well enough to trust it – and knowing me would mean you know I use real life examples. That said, her URL and name were used NOWHERE so there was nothing to complain about period. I don’t have time to ask permission for use of an example and wait for a reply etc.
I agree about the niche topics being viable IF…done right. The problem was she didn’t pair it well with her content. Content on escalators or office space – how do those relate to travel and cooking? She had a couple of recipe blogs that had nothing to do with travel, etc. That’s what I meant by a bad pairing of niches. The example you used did pair both topics nicely. Her content was nothing like that.
Maybe eating on escalators is the niche?
LOL maybe if there was some of that it’d be okay!
Great Point Alice.. and you may be right. BTW, I follow you as well. Love your work;)
Whewww….. Tiff honey, great great job!!
I’ve been on the internet for nearly 3 years and I started out giving tons of free help away. But like you, it always bit me in the butt and turned me into a lion when it came to people and their FREE Expectations.
I’ve now learned that FREE & ME don’t make a good fit cause those who generally want FREE, will never pay ME, so I don’t give them any of my T-I-M-E…..
I applaud you cause of all the people who follow you, you give an awful lot to your community. But the truth is, those that aren’t making money may very well never make any because they’re too think skinned to “learn and listen”, and are always defensive…. which will keep them stuck in a rut.
I applaud you and admire you cause you do what most people are afraid to do… tell the truth!!
High Five Tiff,
Nic
I think free doesn’t mix with a few select people but for the most part, I enjoy helping people free when I can because I was there once and needed it myself.
Paying it forward thanks to Craig!
There are exceptions to my rule, but I keep my B.S. Radar on alert at all times and I don’t hesitate to ask tons of questions before I start giving answers.
After the first 2 or 3, I can usually tell that someone is simply fishing for guidance to avoid doing something or taking action, and I stop them in their tracks by giving them an assignment that will require that they put forth the effort to see the results they claim they want.
I’ve learned that some people complain to avoid doing work. And they also try to find sympathy to hear someone tell them that they don’t have to do much more than what they’ve been doing…
Not with me anymore. I interview them, determine whether they’re worth my time or not, and I send them resources that can guide them.
When I come across the serious ones, they usually provide quality answers long before I can even consider ruling them out.
Good guide to go by! Unfortunately I appear to have pissed her off on the first round LOL
Morning Tiff,
I can’t believe she went there with you. Just goes to show there are many people out there, those that do and those who don’t.
As some of your other comments have said she just doesn’t get it. With that attitude like you said I don’t think she ever will and that’s just sad for her.
I too am a somewhat noob and trying to break into something this holiday season so I too can start my internet adventure.
Looks like I will have to check back later to see the videos, read all the comments and its still buffering….lol
Big Kudos to you!!!!
thx
Uh oh! Wonder why it buffers so long? Hmm
Not sure either, I just figured you were getting a lot of traffic this morning.
Hello Tiffany!
You go, Honey Badger!
Geez…I guess that she’s doing $0 and you’re playing the bills…and she cannot get it.
A good lesson for us all, to be able to see the time wasters coming, and avoid being taken in by them. Thanks for sharing this!
There’s no way to avoid it short of not helping anyone – I couldn’t have seen her attitude coming. But te lesson wasn’t wasted because others learned from it. Just wasted on her and ironically that’s kinda sweet! Because now she can’t benefit from it.
One of your best points is your bluntness, Tiff! Never change that!
Anyone who asks you for advice knows that you won’t give any phony praise or say anything that isn’t true just to shut them up. You always tell it how you see it and that’s a rare thing. Thank you for that!
With an attitude like that D. won’t succeed anywhere, especially not in IM where relationships are so important.
She missed out on an incredible opportunity by being rude and ungrateful, I really hope she realizes that… but she probably won’t and that’s sad.
Apparently not if someone else said she’s making the rounds asking for advice and being rude.
Always remember, for every one of those idiots, there are a 100 who appreciate all you do.
I see that and I love you guys for appreciating what little I can offer.
Hey Girl,
You tell her. I am like you. I hate people like her. I’m sitting here, trying to find ways to make money, and I get emails from people, asking for free help. Not a chance unless it is legit.
I actually started a blog of my own to answer questions from email. So I am doing what you are doing. The only difference is I’m not trying to make money with it. One day I may do that. But for now, I just want to help others.
I appreciate your videos and blogs. You’ve been a good friend and I always welcome what you have to say. I do learn a lot from you.
Oh, by the way, THANKS.
Harry
Thank YOU Harry for being a grateful subscriber
Are you my long lost twin? LOL
The female friends I’ve had the longest in my personal life are as blunt and straight-forward as you are.
I only have two basic personal rules:
1. Don’t ask for my honest opinion unless you really want it.
2. Make double-damn sure you want it.
Thanks for keeping it real. It’s her loss that she didn’t learn anything from your blog. If she’s followed you for very long she should know that you do these as case study type blog posts.
Apparently she’s still looking for that easy button that promises instant riches in 2 weeks.
Hope you have an awesome weekend.
Maybe Patti! I like #2
Hi Tiffany,
Starting watching the video whilst reading the text. Gave up after 2 mins as I found her attitude so irritating. I’m UK English and spell colour our way – but you don’t take the “helper” (you) to task because of spelling. You take the advice. Not sure I’d dare behave like that!
Take care,
Robin
Thanks Robin! I had no idea travelling was spelling that way in the UK so I was like, just explain and then I’d say “cool beans.” But it rocked her whole day upside down! She never said she wasn’t American so I thought she did one of those intentional spelling errors OR that she just didn’t spell correctly.
Loved the rant! It is funny but as I read through your reply to D, I had the reaction of, “Wow, thanks for taking the time” and it wasn’t even my site. But I was able to soak up a few lessons that I can apply to my own sites just from your responses.
It is a shame that this person cannot recognize the gift they received in you providing your feedback. Many of us would clamor for such an opportunity, to get targeted feedback from someone that has learned many of the lessons we are learning now.
I don’t comment often, actually I think this is my first here, but I just had to pop in and say thank you for sharing Tiffany!
Thanks Derek. Even now I sit hoping that the throttle over the head here will make her wake up. For her KIDS’ sake. But it won’t probably. Sad.
I rarely give free advice anymore for that exact same problem you had. I get people asking advice almost daily. And when I did provide answers (and still do once in a while) I have yet to receive a thank you from anyone. And the people who ask for advice rarely end up buying anything. So I try to get them to buy first and then maybe I’ll give them some free advice. But you went way out of your way for this person and they are clearly very self involved.
See that’s sad that it has that effect. Sadder that you got no thanks. My subscribers always are grateful and even if they ignore my advice, they thank me for taking time. They’ve sent me chocolate gift baskets, flowers, candy, personal letters via snail mail, etc.
Sounds like she has an attitude problem! I would be more than grateful for any advice as we need it when starting out. Let’s hope she realises this one day.
I think I would have told her to go have sex and travel! (OMG did I just say that!)
Gaynor
LMAO yes you did Gaynor!
Tiffany,
I fail to see how the person got all that information out of your emails! Hmmm She must have been just waiting to pounce! I never saw any of that in either of the emails you sent her and it’s a total mystery to me. I’m so thankful for you and for your honesty and HUGE desire to see us all succeed. You continue to go girl!
She didn’t want the story on the blog – but without her name or URL I fail to see the problem. lol
Hey Tiff,
I actually feel sad over this whole nasty affair.
Why sad?
‘Coz you are an awesome person and you reach out to help soooo many people when you could easily make $$$ in that same time. And selfish people like D might put you off answering emails personally….not now maybe…..but who needs hypertension for doing an amazingly good deed???
I do have a question or two for you but I want to clear my head first and get things sorted out so I can ask ONLY solid questions that can be answered easily and not take too much of your time.
Tiffany, you are a brand in yourself.
I value and respect your thoughts, emails, posts immensely so I would never bother with something trivial and vague “tell me what to do in affiliate marketing” or ask you a zillion things – “tell me this and this and this”.
I am glad that you’re not fretting over D as she certainly doesn’t deserve anymore of your precious blog real estate.
Keep up the awesome stuff you do.
Shazi
I don’t mind it. More people appreciate the help than get offended by it. lol
Hi Tiff,
May I use this opportunity to ask everyone on their thoughts of seeing UK spellings on websites? I understand that spelling along with punctuation and grammar need to be spot on but what is correct for me might not be the case for a US market. Should I re-think my plans if this is to become an issue?
Sure! I think personally if you’re targeting a US audience, use US spelling and if you’re targeting UK use UK. But she never told me she was UK and since she didn’t write the articles, I didn’t notice any UK spelling. Then again I didn’t go through all of them, just some.
You have to develop a thick skin in this biz. This lady obviously has a long way to go in that area.
I have had several blog critiques in the past and even if I cringed a little bit inwardly at the criticism, I learned so much about what to do and not do.
Now it really wouldn’t bother me at all. I’m grateful for any help I get cos I know time is worth money.
I hope this experience doesn’t deter you from ever helping anyone else. I can see why it would though. Like the saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished.
No it doesn’t deter me Cathy
Well gee, Tiff, now I’M offended. You never emailed ME to offer me personal suggestions or help. And my feelings are SOOOO hurt. How dare you spend time sharing your valuable tips with other people but never take time out of your day to contact me DIRECTLY and exclusively?? And I’ve been on your list for a long time now, so obviously I DESERVE the personal attention. I don’t know if I will ever get over it. My lack of knowledge and action is obviously your fault. AND, when I tried to watch the veins pop out on your neck, the video wouldn’t even play – only the audio. What kind of useless rant is that??? ROFL hysterically!!!
OK – on to the real stuff now. I’m so glad you had the guts to speak out and to post this. One of the things I’ve noticed over the years (as a “helper” myself) is that most people do not appreciate what they don’t have to pay for.
While I think it’s important to provide folks with an opportunity to get to know you through the “free” content your site provides, the sense of entitlement that some people show has turned my “helper” instinct way down. It seems that the ones I give the most to are the ones who simply want more and more. It’s a valuable lesson.
I really like that you are willing to “fire” subscribers – that minority that simply wants to suck your creative lifeforce juices dry will always be able to find someone else who is willing to let them get away with it.
Once again, you are my hero!! Now go make some money gal!
Here’s a hankie Katie
~ LOL The video plays on the DM site if you click through to watch it there. Maybe I should charge $1 for the advice upfront? LOL! That might work. They paid, they appreciate? I’m money working today – hope your day is going well too! 
Thanks for the hanky Tiff – but geez, a paper one?? Surely with all your $$$ you could have sent silk – LOL.
Actually I was getting ready for my “hobby” job selling my handmade glass jewelry at the local blues festival this weekend. But now you’ve gotten me off track and I’m giggling over people who just never get it.
BTW – all I got on the DM site was a spinning disk, so I read along with you instead.
lol Silk and embroidered on its way Katie!
I wrote Tiffany too a couple of days ago for help. She wrote me back an incredibly empathetic, HELPFUL, supportive email that was a full four or five paragraphs long that absolutely MADE MY DAY.
I mean not only did she give me some really helpful suggestions ( free advice, people!) but she also made me see something about my strategy that I sort of missed the first time around. Sometimes it’s nice to just get a little contact and support and like I told her, I don’t even know where this woman gets the TIME to work the way she does and and on top of that answer questions from the dazed and confused.
Tiff, if you had put my question on your blog I would have considered it a huge favor. You’re also tremendously generous about that. Who else do you know online who would bring YOUR question to THEIR list? Not to mention — your PLR business?
Hello?
There are all kinds of people out here who say they want to “help you succeed” – and as far as I can tell you’re the only person I’ve run into in three years of trying to figure this out who actually does it.
This woman must be absolutely green not to get all that. I thought that your advice was brilliantly helpful and also very easy to implement. Just narrow your scope. Rewrite. Brand. Aint the end of the world.
Imagine if your advice had been — quit now, your website is useless? Or if you hadn’t answered at all? That would have been someone who gave up in despair because it would have taken her eons to figure out what was wrong and by then she would have gone back to some rotten J-O-B or started selling off the silver on Ebay.
Don’t be discouraged by those people. This week, the time you took out of your day to talk to me got me going again when I was completely stuck.
Love.
~a
Love that – what if my advice was hopelessness!? You’re right! Glad I helped you and you appreciated it
Wow, that’s amazing. I would be jumping at the chance to get help from someone like you who is honest, experienced and making money full time from home.
I didn’t find anything offensive about the post. You didn’t let us know who she was and the post was insightful because I’m sure she isn’t the only one with a site like that and your take on the situation that you share with the rest of us can help us all. I personally have learned things from your blog so I know that the way you handle teaching your readers and subscribers for free from your blog does work.
How are you going to complain when it is free? That I don’t understand, and you took the time to email her back yourself. How many so called gurus would dismiss her email or try to sell her something since she didn’t pay for consulting or coaching. You never bite the hand that’s feeding you, what you could have taught her might have set her on the path to earning some real money.
I guess she is not humble enough to take your advice, doesn’t appreciate that you anonymously presented her issue which could have got her more help and suggestions and rather stay broke.
Yeah, sounds like good plan to me .. LOL
lol I agree Alice
WOW!
I’mma takin’ notes, girl, as you are awesome!
I similarly help people one on one via email and need to START putting these questions and responses on my blog so as to maximize the value for everyone and to save my time!
Learnin’ from a pro, thanks, Tiff!!!
- Carol
Yes! You should Carol! I don’t put every email on there. Some aren’t universal or I simply don’t have time always.
Hi Tiff,
THANKS!
Until I read your post and the comments too, I see that you calmed down.
Many of the same happened to me before, while I learned, how big God’s zoo is and how low its fence is.:D
I agree as Toki Tover wrote “She just does not “get it” and you continued “never will”.
It seems, that it will not be any good wind for her to manage her ship in to a good port.
Forget her. Continue with those who know your values.
Have a wonderfuk weekend,
Sandor
Thanks Sandor!
OK, I’m stealing this:
“How big God’s zoo is and how low its fence is.”
You. Are. The. BOMB.
#thatisall
#lovemesometiff
LMAO Awww thanks Lisa!
Tiff,
I understand your getting PO’d about the raection to your analysis of the unnamed website. They should have shown, at the very minimum some gratitude for your effort, even if they did not like the result.
I reread your blog post, and while I do not defend the reaction, perhaps you could have tempered your bluntness and honesty with a criticism sandwich.
This is described as saying something positive about the problem/person, offering your criticism, and finishing with another positive comment.
I know you wanted to make this a lesson, but you should remember that you were responding to the request for help, without disclosing any information about the recipient, in a very public blog. That could be construed as threatening to a very insecure person. (Out of work, mother of 2, probably been rejected by a ton of employers.)
Very honestly, if I were the lady and read your blog, I might feel that you were attacking me in this very public forum.
I am reminded of Henry Kissinger’s definition of diplomacy: Tell some to go to hell, and have them look forward to the trip”.
I do appreciate the lessons you provided, and enjoy reading, I hate video, all you have to say and teach, and will apply them to my own business.
If you notice, I have tried to follow my own advice with this comment.
Ken Seal
Well in my email, I mentioned how she had it down as far as the blogging and writing went (not knowing at the time that she didn’t create the blog or write the content). Again, though Ken – I do NOT have time to cushion people’s feelings. It was time out of MY day to address her desperation. I’m not going to spend an additional 30 minutes looking for ways to praise her. She’s not PAYING me to motivate her. I wanted to address the problem, period.
That’s why I said she shouldn’t be in IM. If I don’t mention your name OR URL and you’re offended? Tough. And I had emailed kindly and held her hand too. I don’t have time for people like that. She can learn elsewhere.
I do notice you tempering your reaction – that’s not me
I don’t want to be like that. It’s called pussyfooting. And I don’t do it.
Hi Tiff
the bit that made me giggle is the English lesson! For goodness sake, I’m a Brit (and a teacher) and I spell all ways…cos heck most of my buyers are wonderful Americans..and what about the great niche opportunities of misspelt words?
Please don’t judge us Brits by Miss Prissy Breeches! As my dad would say, if you can’t take criticism you can’t grow..
I love your Honey badger persona..got any T shirts for sale..we would all buy one!
Sarah
Sarah I love all Brits – the accent is marvelous! The kindness is usually overwhelming. I bought my T shirt on Zazzle lol
Hi Tiff, As I’ve said before – I love agressive women! lol
Seriously, there are some people you just can’t help – as you know – and it appears to me that ‘D’ is one of those.
We get it in the motor trade all the while. People ask ‘can you tell me what that noise is?’ You listen. You diagnose. Then they say ‘No, it can’t be that because…..’ And you ask yourself ‘Okay, if you KNOW its not that – why ask me!’
I’m still struggling along – trying to get started – but if I ever need help, you’re number 1 on my list to ask!
Right George! LOL! I hear that all the time. I’d say Ok! LOL!
Unfortunately it seems that there are more and more incidents like this in almost every aspect of life. Instead of appreciating ANY help, many feel that they are ENTITLED to your complete attention and to make them feel special. As one who has had many, MANY setbacks in life….I am happy when I just get a RESPONSE. I agree with you….these types of people deserve what they ALWAYS provide to you…no respect, no response. I personally thank you for ANY assistance you provide…whether directly or indirectly. Have a great holiday weekend and may the rest of the day be prosperous!
Tony D.
Thanks Tony
You enjoy your weekend too!
Hi Tiff,
Let me add to the list of people who are grateful for your bluntness and honesty and good advice. More than once your blog posts have been perfectly timed and kept me out of harm’s way in IM behind the scenes. I hope this post of yours today will help some newbies realize what a gift your time and that of your comment posse really is! I had this same thing happen a few years ago when I offered on Twitter to do a critique of sites to show what changes would need to be made on a site to make it work on a phone (before Android and when most people did not have iPhones.) I worked HOURS on that blog post with screen shots and everything. It would have been great publicity and a backlink from a good PR site. Next, I get a message on Twitter from the guy to take it down. What? I did, not wanting a lawsuit, but I had to scramble to do another review to keep the integrity of my site since I said I would do one. Unfollow, block, see ya! I am glad you know you have raving fans in your customer base too, Tiff, and we love you and what you share with us! -Holly
Ugh what an ass Holly! Sorry you went to all the trouble for that guy.
When you read her response you can tell she is negative to the core. And until she fixes that internal negativity she will only attract more negative outcomes, like this.
So many people are bitter and angry inside and they don’t realize that the universe is matching what they are feeling. What you are feeling is sending out a request to the universe. And the universe matches your request exactly.
I would be jumping-for-joy grateful if Tiffany Dow took the valuable time out of her day to look at my site!! What a treat!
This lady needs to learn how to be grateful for what she has in her life. We all have so very much to be grateful for and we take so much for granted.
If you need somewhere to start go volunteer at a children’s hospital, maybe then you will see how good your life really is.
THANK YOU Tiffany for striving for excellence and ALWAYS looking back behind you to lend a hand to us following your footsteps.
Tony
Denton, Texas
Agree Tony!!
Wow, Tiffany! I can’t believe someone would treat you that way after all you did to help her. You are a marketer with a heart and, instead of appreciating that, she basically spit in your face.
I think anyone should be happy for you to use their site as a case study on your blog. Other marketers charge megabucks for that.
I had a similar situation with a proofreading client a few years ago. I had done one project for him as a favor and I didn’t charge for it. When he asked me to do another one, I gave him a quote for my services. He replied back that he was hoping I would do it for free since he was saving up for his wedding. I couldn’t believe it! Like I didn’t have anything to save up for? Needless to say, I didn’t do the job and I never heard from him again.
Anyway, I’m glad this little episode is over and you can get back to being productive again. Hope you have a wonderful Labor Day weekend with your family!
That’s how it felt and what made me spit nails. I felt like I took time and helped someone and she bit me. Like a freaking rabid dog. Maybe she WANTED the link and was mad that I made it a generic lesson? Wow your example is another entitlement story. Ugh!
Jenny,
Now, that takes some nerves from that guy. What an idiot. I don’t understand how these folks come up with justifying their behavior and crazy requests. Who cares about his wedding? Show me the money!
Ok, Honey Badger…did you go over how you came up with that name? Just curious
You know I really enjoyed that rant. I understand you were upset, but hopefully you will excuse me for laughing about your story. That was funny. Unfortunately, you didn’t know ol’ Dee was crazy!
I thought that was some good info that you passed along to your readers. I appreciated it and it was thought provoking for those us who have problems with blog content vs our niche, etc. So, it helped sort some things out for me.
But, you know I am hesitant to contact folks like yourself (unless you invite the contact) because I know when you break away from your bread and butter it costs you money. I understand that. Dee, apparently doesn’t realize it. I think that’s what some call rookie-itis or as they say in Texas…what an ass. I guess she knows who you are now!
Now, what can we say to talk you down, woman?
Girl, don’t ban Dee from purchasing your stuff. Hell her money is still green! Plus, if she stays put, she may learn something in the art of finesse and professionalism.
I had to watch that video. That was the highlight of my day. I will be thinking about it and chuckling the rest of the day. Whew! I’m glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of all that!
I like your blogs and input. I have created a folder especially for you and your rants! I think it’s great how you help others even to the point of advertising for them. You are a gem. Oh, and your honey voice is too cute. It never fails to make me smile. Say hi to mom and have a great weekend!
YouTube Janice – crazy, nastyass honey badger video cracks me up! I totally don’t mind people asking me stuff. Ask away! But allow me to help others too
LOL Sorry I put you into a giggle fit. I went nuts. 
1st off… Stay Boosted!
Tiff… Dont let the (fill in the blank) get under your skin.
I just have to say on behalf of the other 99.999999999999999999999999999999999% of the people who have ever read a blog post from you or watched a video of you…YOU ARE THE GREATEST!
To anyone who doesn’t think highly of Tiffany… I’d hate to see what your parents were like because to some of us, we look at Tiffany Dow as the Internet Marketing communities “MOM” …
She teaches for free and honestly I believe that if she focused on just doing plr and ghostwriting she would probably make a couple extra thousand dollars a month but she sacrifices that time so that other people can eventually get in the situation to have less financial burdens…. She Sacrifices<<<—I hope you read those two words.
I have been struggling in internet marketing and I can say I've been struggling because 80% of the time I'm lazy and don't implement what Tiffany says to do… I did one time and made about $200 in 3 days from doing exactly what she told me to do!
Tiffany keep your head up and I'm sorry but after everything you've done for me and everyone else, I just don't see how someone could possibly be such a BITCH! (I had to say it)
D-
Success is based around your "teachers" and when your teacher teaches you a lesson … they are not going to say … you did great when your not doing all that good. Simply put they are going to point out what you need to do to "grow" … if you don't like that then fail that class and in this situation, that simply means you need to go find a job because you cant take what the teacher is telling you…
…..
Ok I'm done now I promise!
Stay Boosted Tiff!!!!
Thank you CJ! You always have a positive mindset
Don’t Thank me Tiff…. Thank You!!!
Oh, I forgot one question to Honey Badger (your alter ego I take it). Did you happen to tell that crazy woman that you would be sharing her issue and request with your readers, but not using any information that would identify who she was?
If not, maybe she was just shocked to read it and over-reacted since her issue was placed out there on front street. What say you?
And don’t go doing any Honey Badger, t-shirt wearing videos on me about my question, woman! Just curious. Talk at you later.
Nope and I don’t feel obligated to do that unless I’m using a name or URL.
Hi Tiffany,
I have benefited so much from your advice and blog posts over this last year and can’t thank you enough. My favorites have been the reality slaps that you deliver. If you were a person without compassion your rants would seem mean. Those of us who have followed you for awhile and who know your character, can appreciate the occasional rants or what I like to call “reality slaps”. Let’s face it, this business it tough and as one who almost gave up, I for one applaud and depend on your wisdom to keep me on track. Staying true to who you are is what I can count on.
Thanks
Incredible but unfortunately not a rarity. Egos are a crippling monster. I am always amazed at the level of professionalism. I think most of us would feel blessed to get your help.
I really wanted to watch the video but can’t get it to work on either site. I was looking forward to your rant. lol
Thanks for all you do!!
Sorry about the video . Might take awhile to load or buffer.
Sorry Tiff and Everybody,
I didn’t read all the comments and the video didn’t load up, but I did read the post for today and my question is did you tell D you were going to use her site as a lesson?
Probably would have gone a different direction, just my opinion.
I totally agree that she would get a lot of helpful suggestions from your subscribers. However can we really expect someone that is feeling desperate, has a really messed up website and admits to having no clue about affiliate marketing to see it as helpful without letting the person know first?
Sorry Tiff that’s what struck me after reading your post.
And I’m not going to unsubscribe yet…I like seeing Honey!
Her site and name weren’t mentioned. Only the situation as a lesson.
Hey Tiffany, you sound really angry. I don’t blame you at all. I now know how to get your attention. You are so right then you say there is no magic bullet. Thanks for sharing this video. Loved it.
Thank you!
Tiffany I have one single suggestion for you and it will alleviate most if not all the subscribers like this.
In Aweber, (and I know you know this because you mention it several places) you now have something to put in the auto sig file –
End of story pish posh hands clean and no legal issues or other whiners will bother you ever again.
Disclaimer: I make no guarantees and I’m not a lawyer. I just don’t ever want you to get so fired up you blow a major blood vessel on video. Then we’re all SOL.
Yeah I guess I could. It’s a good suggestion but I don’t feel it’s necessary if their URL isn’t mentioned.
Wow Tiff, take a big breath, have some ice tea and calm down. Being that angry will give you wrinkles and gray hair.
Don’t waste a second more being mad at those who obviously won’t understand why you are.
Perhaps you should take consolation at the thought that somewhere a small English village is likely missing their town idiot.
I thought he was in the white house? Zing! A little un PC. Humor for ya!
What did you say there, Tiff? Democrat, Republican, Independednt, whatever, he is our lawfully elected President and he deserves respect even if you do not agree with his views.
Oh no I disagree. I never “respect” anyone – unless they EARN it and he’s done nothing to earn it. What, got elected? That doesn’t gain respect. I mean this for ANY seat. I don’t respect Rick Perry either and he’s my governor.
LOL! This post is SO busy today that I can’t even get the video to play. I think you Crashed DailyMotion’s Servers Tiff!
But Yes, there are the kind of people that “Think” they want advice, but they don’t even realize themselves that what they actually want is a pat on the back, therefore when they hear, “Here is what you’re doing wrong, A.. B.. C..” then they get mad for being told they’re ding something wrong instead of glad for being corrected….
Do you agree Tiff? Umm…. ok, wait… don’t answer that question unless you agree
XD
-Gary
Lol Gar I agree!
Tiffany,
Thank you for your generosity! You have taken time out of your day to help me many, many times. And every time I’ve purchased a product from you I’m SURPRISED by how much usable info is in there compared to how little I paid for it.
Your post the other day about those of us (ME!) who are holding off getting our sites up until everything is perfect was a great encouragement! I am in the process of going live with my site even though everything isn’t exactly as I’d like it to be – but I will “just tweak it” as I go along.
I really can’t thank you enough. I don’t cry easily, but when I think of how you’ve gone out of your way to help me, it makes me tear up. I can’t thank you enough!
Awwwww thanks girl!
Tiffiney
A perfect blog cannot exist, taking action, massive action and getting it up is what counts. Good luck with your launch.
Well Tiffany you have made ny day, I don’t do videos, but I read every word. What had me laughing was I could imagine your ire, eyes popping and all.
What I want to say is short, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the help you give to all of us.
The majority of us appreciatte it. For the last four weeks I have been trying to help someone with a similar attitude to D. She won’t listen either, but that is her lookout.
i ma English and I write with English spellings, but I ma savvy enough on my travel blog to have traveling the American way, more people will be looking for that. Its not rocket science.
Again thanks.
Yeah my eyes bulged. LOL!
You go, girl. I haven’t been able to see the video yet (probably too many people trying to watch it at once). People like that don’t deserve help. I have had my questions used in other blogs and understand that it is to help me as well as others. I understand your getting mad at her as she threw your time and good advice back in your face.
You have been a help to a lot of people. Don’t let one bad apple get at you.
I sure won’t GrandmaMarilyn!
Learning from others who have been there and done it before and have been successful is what counts, also learning from the things we do right and wrong, helps us to be successful too, with somedody taking the time out to help us. It is a gift that should be gratefully recieved when given freely. Just saying.
true!!
Wow!
With the risk that you will blackball me, what a storm in a tea cup! We Brits do things a bit differently and I can really see both sides of the semantics here – and I really do think there are a lot of semantics here.
I know how annoying it is to be a stickler for spelling and grammar (in the same way most Americans are) and STILL have my spellings considered “mispelled” simply because my native writing is not American English spelling. Every Englich speaking nation in the world accepts that there are often acceptable variations of different words EXCEPT for the US audience – and it is irritating.
I think this may have clouded D’s antagonism a little. However, I also think D must also be feeling very needy and defensive and so emailed you in private. In European etiquette, you respond “in kind” ie by email, which is why D felt aggrieved.
HOWEVER I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR VIEWS TOO TIFF AND YOU HAVE EXPLAINED THEM VERY ELOQUENTLY.
Please unblacklist D. She needs you. Just tell her, from now on, you’ll not available for the personal free consultation she hoped for – buy you can do it for $x amount.
As you point out, most gurus would NOT do this. They are NOT approachable. Please take it as a compliment that she could approach you. Maybe not a compliment you value,
but we Europeans DO have a different mentality – sometimes a different approach – and sometimes do things which rub you Americans up the wrong way. Not intentional, honestly. We all need to learn to rub along together a little better and show a little more tolerance.
Please revisit D’s reply. It really wasn’t that bad. And I’m sure not badly meant…
You’re doing a great job Tiff, but please don’t explode so quickly at us Europeans. Breathe. Tell her, “Sorry I said you mispelled something when you were actually using UK English. I posted to my blog because you highlighted a common problem and I ALWAYS discuss anything useful via my blog so my other subscribers can benefit from my advice and ALSO SHARE their experiences too. I believe this is the best way of handling things that allows me to help you AND keep my time focused on earning to feed my own family.”
Don’t blacklist me Tiff, I’m only trying to explain how it is. My position as a UN envoy was snapped up by Angelina Jolie…
Susan x
Girl I never blacklist people for opposite opinions! I feel her reply was rude. I didn’t blacklist her – yet. But I might if I get unlazy. LOL!
Unlazy! Love it!
I don’t know this persons blog so I can’t comment too much.
Tiff I think you are great the way you help people and honesty is always the best policy. That is one thing I struggle with sometimes if someone asks me for a review or what I think of their site and I feel really bad if I tell them I don’t like it or if it is just terrible. So usually I try to pick out something good about it and focus more on the few good things. I know this isn’t the best approach though as it’s not honest and really doesn’t help the person in the long term.
You’re honest approach is much more likely to help long term but unfortunately it’s just not what people want to hear. She said she wasn’t making money and was struggling and I guess there’s a reason for that but she didn’t like seeing it pointed out.
Having said all that – the bit about the spelling I can really understand her being defensive about that. Coming from Australia I have to adjust my spelling all the time to suit American spelling and because a big percentage of website visitors are American I tend to use American spelling. However, it can be very frustrating and a bit of a touchy subject
It’s always hard to take criticism no matter how much you need it, so I guess she was a bit defensive. I guess she didn’t like it being laid out for all to see either rather than just direct to her. But this is your site and your business and you didn’t mention her name or her site so it wasn’t like it was a personal attack against her or anything. I think she was just a bit on the defensive side.
Great job as usual Tiff – move on and forget about it. If she doesn’t want to take your opinions and use them to her benefit then that’s her choice – probably a bad one, but still her choice.
LOL I understand that – I dont see it as a big deal – heck just say you spelled it UK version and I’m cool with that! I wasn’t making fun of anyone for sure though. Thanks for seeing my side too
Looks like the Internet Marketing arena has the same types as the Network Marketing arena does….or maybe it’s just the business learning curve that brings it out?
I remember spending hours assisting people to have them turn like that Tiff. It goes from a dropped jaw to anger really fast and I, like you, believe it’s better to rant and get rid of it than to leave it sit. Unsaid stuff just festers inside and makes one ill!
If it’s any consolation to D (giving her the European culture benefit of the doubt), I’m really GLAD you posted the issue! One of my sites is of the type that will cover several topics. The blog post you did let me know to take a step back and do some thoughtful planning before I get too far with it so I can make sure there’s some cohesiveness to it all.
If I hadn’t seen your post about D’s issues with hers, I could have gotten really far along and it would’ve been a LOT more work going backwards to pull it all together!!
Thanks again,
Debi J
Yea Debi!
That COW didn’t write you for “help”…. she wants someone to do it FOR her! She paid someone to build her a site…and paid someone to create the content… all she needed then was someone to monetize it for her. Guess she thought that was gonna be you????
Internet marketing is WORK. Period. If you’re not willing to do the work… you’re not gonna get sh*t out of it.
Unfortunately, there are many people in the world who (like you said) feel entitled. They will never see success. They are too lazy to do what it takes.
Don’t ever stop being you Tiffany.
Adrienne
I won’t! Thanks Adrienne
I haven’t read all of these comments yet so I hope I’m not beating a dead horse here, but…..
I have been banging around in this stuff for more than 3 years, working un-Godly hours trying to create something that will sustain my husband (a 3-time cancer survivor) and myself at some point (and obviously doing something terribly wrong because I’m still not making any money after creating more than 25 websites).
Now I’m sitting here totally dumbfounded that this lunatic ‘D’ person, who up to this point has not even so much as created her own website nor any of the content on it, had the golden opportunity to be tutored by a Tiffany Dow – for FREE no less – and all she can do is bellyache because she was not told in 15 words or less how to get rich in two weeks.
If you’re reading any of this sister, I got news for you. You’re in for a lot of heartaches because nobody’s gonna build your business for you, I don’t care how nice they are.
At some point you’re going to have to suck it up and get busy, and it wouldn’t hurt you to be just a little bit more grateful when someone who owes you absolutely nothing (and makes a helluva lot more money than you) tries to give you some honest direction.
Give me a freakin’ break!
AMEN Jo Ann!
Is getting panties in a wad the same as getting a thong in a knot? That was a good one!
I assume so but this big butt doesn’t do thongs so I wouldn’t know
(Even when I was a skinny butt I never “got” the whole thong thing.
Tiff:
The only thing that comes to mind here is “victim”. What a shame she looked a gift horse in the mouth! And, here is the meaning of looking a gift horse in the mouth:
Meaning
Don’t be ungrateful when you receive a gift.
You are the best, Tiff. There’s lots of those victims out there muddling around in piles of their own shit!
Vicki
thanks Vicki!
Of course it’s all YOUR fault Tiff for being so darn accessible!
I can’t believe that people asking for help actually react this way! But you are right – it is a growing trend in people’s attitudes. Maybe its a carry over from our fast food, disposable lifestyles. People think that they can order up success just like they do their McDonalds!
That is the difference between the 5% that will make it doing AM and the 95% that don’t. Every criticism is just another opportunity to get better at what you do.
Thank you (a million times) for everything
Rach
YOU are welcome
Gosh she definitely has to wake up from her “get rich quick” world. Does she honestly think that she’s going to make money after 3 months of putting a website up with no research or learning on her part? Does she really think that someone would just hand over a step by step plan of getting rich for free?
We all have to go through the same things, none of us started out being super rich, otherwise we wouldn’t have gone into internet marketing because we wouldn’t have to. We all started off with little or no money.
All I can say is “the cheek of her!”
Thanks for sharing this experience Tiff.
Yeah the cheek! LOL!
I am sorry Tiffany that you had to deal with that ingrate. As I had said on WF I had to deal with something similar last year and it really made my blood boil. She will never succeed with an attitude like that. If you want to succeed you need to take the good, the bad and the ugly. But hey something GOOD came out of this. I did not discover your blog until I came across the post in the WF about this. I am going to study it because *I* have tonnes to learn, I am still quite green in IM, I subscribed to your list and I think you are very, very generous to give as much as you do! I bet you gained other new subscribers after creating that post too. Thank you so much for all of the help you give to others. The unfortunate thing, no one has a clue whether any of the recipients of your help are ingrates like D. But from what I can see, the vast majority are very thankful
I did gain but lost some too
It evens out 
Well Tiff it’s her loss, she has lost a fantastic opportunity to learn from you who is already extremely successful, as well as a dedicated and helpful community who support and buoy each other! I know money may be an issue, but I paid a website designer in the US to tweak a few things on my site visually and look at the SEO and it cost me a whole $40 so lucky her to be getting such individualised advice for free.
You’re right about this community – she lost a LOT of help, not just me.
Hey Tiff -
So I did a quick google search and found her site — and what a mess. Office Space in NYC on a travelling and cooking blog? And what does Understanding the Housewives of NYC have to do with the topic either?
What really has me curious is the amount of money she has spent. You took that out but she bought a premium wordpress theme. and who knows what else she spent money on such as a “guru” course.
but here is my real question — I would think a first grader would be able to figure this out. This isn’t rocket science. If you have a blog about travelling and cooking, wouldn’t you ASSUME that that is what it should be about?
Why would she even BOTHER putting up such ridiculous articles EVEN is she did pay for them?
Why is she asking for help? is she really that clueless? and if she is, then pity her and move on. She either got scammed by someone, is gVERY confused in general, or she just doesn’t understand IM enough (or any business for that matter — she would probably try and sell pies and cakes out of a shoe store) to waste any more of your time.
Well many people use keywords like I said so they’re confused. I wanted to help her grasp that.
woo hoo! go Tiffany! You were right on with every point…..I love you girl!
Thanks Jenni!
Great Post Tiffany. You are always so willing to help people. Then someone like this person comes along. Hope this does not make you want to stop helping your followers. You have always been so helpful and kind to me. Keep up the good work.
Nope it doesn’t Sam. Hey I sent someone your way in the same line of business – hope that goes well! Seems eager to learn and take action so I figures y’all might be able to JV or something
I love these people for keeping the field of competition as whining and tearing quitaholics. You know how misery loves company, their whining invites those that make an equal effort to join in the pity parade and give up short of any of their goals.
By the way, thank you for keeping it fresh and real. Sorry, you had to burn up time and energy on someone that will never see the light.
No problem Mark – at least others can learn from the situation.
Tiff I actually suggested someone join your list today before I read/watched this. He said he wanted to help people and only offer worthwhile products. Perhaps I should suggest that to everyone who only sends ‘you must have this’ and ‘you absolutely need this’ emails.
My day is not complete without reading your blog and the replies. I need to factor this into my plan for each day so I don’t get behind on other stuff like work!
And your smile at the end of the HB rant? Unbelievably beautiful. And only people who are beautiful on the inside can smile like that.
Thank you for the help you have given me and others.
Aww thanks Kathy!
And people thought Hurricane Irene could blew her top.
My advice…keep reading the advice from a master( or should that be mistress!!)
Hurricane Honey Badger!
Hey Miss Honey-Badger – I bet hubby skulked off out the house early
Nice to see a good rant, especially such a well-deserved one. Only hope the ‘D’ saw it
Pete.
LOL No he likes that side of me when it’s on someone else. LOL!
Hi Tiff,
I emailed you privately since a virus had robbed me of access to videos that came with several of your packages I had purchased.
Not only did you reply within 12 hours, when others I waited for days and some didn’t even acknowledge or reply, but you sent more than the links I requested, along with an offer for further assistance if I needed it.
I have been “playing” with IM for a number of years; spent a fortune on all sorts of products and GRQ schemes and at long last, reality has set in.
You are a perfect example of an expert in your field, who truly wants your customers and students to succeed in all that you teach. In my humble opinion, “D” has thrown away a “once in a lifetime opportunity” to benefit and profit from your knowledge and expertise! Her loss, but the rest of us gain!!
From my point of view, I now listen and learn to a very small handful of people whose advice, knowledge and products I trust implicitly and needless to say, you are top of that list.
Thanks for all your help Tiff and to “D” I can only say, “get a life!”
Thanks John! I’ll help you anytime
I am absolutely gob smacked that she would react this way when you tried to help her! Unfortunately there are too many people who think the world owes them.
I’m gob smacked too linda – can you tell? LOL!
Hi,
I’m someone who currently lives in the US and spends a lot of time in the UK and Ireland. So, I’m accustomed to the spelling issue. It’s annoying at times.
Nevertheless, if someone is looking at sheer numbers, the spelling should probably match the way the largest audience will type it into the search engine… traveling, not travelling.
If I’m writing specifically for the British audience, I’ll spell it with two Ls. If I’m writing for the American audience — even if I’m describing travel in Britain — I’ll use one L.
My rule: I spell it how the target reader will; that’s marketing!
However — at least for me — the sirens went off when I read, “visit my site and how you can help or we can help each other.” I never saw the word “please,” or “if you have time,” or any other acknowledgement that you’re a busy person and she’s asking for a freebie.
That said…
I’m really glad you posted this. I don’t want to turn into an absolute ogre, but I think many of us are the opposite side of that coin… often to our own detriment.
Honestly…? You offer outrageously low prices when you run specials that include your how-to products and guides. If someone wants to offer a barter for a product like that, while they’re getting started, that might be worth considering. (Or not… that’s a personal decision.)
By contrast, a free consultation — which is what you gave her — is a bit much to expect.
And, from a totally selfish viewpoint: Time you give to someone unappreciative is less time for posting great articles at your blogs, and other things you could do that will help lots & lots of people.
You’re a kind, thoughtful person. I think that’s why so many of us follow your blog when we don’t have time for many others’.
Your experiences — including this one — resonate with us and we learn from you. I’m especially grateful when you vent and share the lesson learned, because (entirely selfish here) it may prevent me from having a vent-worthy moment, myself.
So, thank you!
Cheerfully,
Eibhlin (“Eileen”)
True and that’s why I share it. I could vent around the house to my offline friends but there ARE good lessons here for both marketers and people seeking help alike. So it’s worth sharing. And why NOT share the emotion behind it all? I’m much more interested seeing someone’s passion than some Ferris Bueller type monotone lesson.
Very informative Tiffany. Thanks for your feedback on these people who ask for your help. I enjoy getting your daily emails.
thanks John!
Well – I know this will upset you (and other yanks!) but on the spelling issue she’s right. The whole planet spells English words correctly apart from Americans!!!
In Britain, Ireland, the EU, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, India, the Caribbean, South Africa, Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, Nigeria, Ghana, and many many other places, travelling is spelt with two ll’s.
That’s about two billion people spelling correctly (including your northern neighbours) and 300 million Americans spelling all wrong! I blame the schools myself!
LOL I heard we set ourselves apart with spelling
But really as I said, all she had to say was “Oh yeah here’s why” and we move on to helping monetize the site. And hey even with US spelling many kids today here in America couldn’t spell it right to save their lives. lol
It may be spelled that way outside the U.S. but her argument holds NO merit given the fact that the ONLY place she spelled it that way was in the URL. Everywhere else that I see has it spelled with one ‘L’. So she simply used that as a way to give herself an excuse to fail.
Debi J
Well she didn’t write her own content remember – so maybe all the work she did was buy a domain. lol
We Love you Tiffany
Big Daddy Don
Thanks Big Daddy Don!
Hi Tiff,
I used to get very upset, when people behaved like idiots. But maybe it was poker that helped. Anyway, I’ve learnt to stay calm, and I think it’s better for my health.
I can’t change people. If they want to behave like selfish idiots, there’s no way to stop them.
Yes, I prefer that people are polite and say thank you.
But sometimes they don’t. I used to give a lot of free help, earlier. People would write and ask me all kinds of questions, and I took time to answer them.
Then I noticed that the same people (they were Danes) never bothered to write to say Thanks, so depending on my hunch about the person writing, I would either answer or send them a standard letter telling them how much they should send me through PayPal, before I would answer. I also wrote WHY I changed my way of responding to them.
This way of treating people (who in most cases are NOT customers, by the way) has helped giving me more time to serve and help those who know the word “thank you” and who can be helped.
Anyway, back to getting upset. I used to get very upset and angry, if some good-for-nothing type didn’t thank me properly, or was offended by something I wrote, spending MY time helping this no-good jerk.
I’ve learnt to change my way of thinking. I cannot force people to be grateful. I prefer they are, but they aren’t always.
So if such a thing happens now, I shrug my shoulders, and go on with my business. And I feel much better like that. I refuse to let the other person control my emotions. (My husband teaches Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, so I sort of had to learn it too
)
I believe short bursts of pissedoffedness actually help my health. I have no blood pressure problems. If I bottled it, I’d be like a pressure cooker
LOL
Just to be clear: I’m not bottling it. I just don’t get p*ssed anymore.
Well I quite enjoy it LOL! Once in awhile
~
Oh Tiff….
*HUG!!!*
I know you’re worth your weight in rubies.
Looks like everyone else here does too.
Your the only marketer I admire enough that I would go on vacation with.
(smirk.. and you can share that with your list. :} )
Ohh… I’m in that mood again. From time to time, they fall upon me. I cannot but share with thee.
Your path to success may not be clear as ice,
learn from your struggles and hints abide.
Follow your masters word of good advice
and success will show in your teachers pride.
Ok, I know. I’ll go to bed, sorry. Yes, I wrote it myself. Just now. Had a crappy week with no writing. Sux.
Have a good sunday though.
You wordsmith you! LOL! Putting every situation into flowing art is wonderful
Hi Tiff,
I read about you and D and look down to reply and 222 Responses had already reply to “Thankless Selfish Subscribers Who Have No Business in Internet Marketing” Thats show you have a following and I love that damn temp girl, you tell em’ girl.I can understand why you got mad Tff, and you’re right, “You Are One of The Few Who Will Take The Time-Out of Their Day To Help Someone.” I for one Thank you for all you do! I really enjoy reading your Blog and I have purchase quite a few of your products and articles and would buy them again. Oh Yes, Thanks for the free lesson!
thanks Gary
Hi Tiff,
Can’t say that I blame you at all for blowing your stack.
Many people have tunnel vision and only see the world as revolving around them.
I’ve always believed that if one person was having a problem, then others no doubt will as well, so if training and help can be shared, all the better for it.
Just a comment about the spelling issue. Like those have explained above, there are different ways to spell certain words. I’m an American, living in Australia so if you want to be confused with spelling….come to my world!
I think as with most things we just need to think of who are target market is. If our market is the US, then aim your spelling that way. If you’re in Europe and that’s your target, then spell that way.
At the end of the day, with the way I find people’s spelling….most wouldn’t have a clue anyway.:)
BTW…that was meant as an attempt at humor.
Keep on sharing with us Tiff…please. Speaking as one just starting out in the ghostwriting world, every bit of help is appreciated.
Hope the rest of your day is full of joy.
It’s totally true! LOL! We spell so poorly here I know. I see it all the time. I was just trying to analyze form the domain on down so I didn’t know why it was different. That truly wasn’t her problem though – it was the sharing. I’m joyous now
Hi Tiffany:
I am so glad you posted your response. It helps all of us. Personally I found that NO Affiliate masters answers any emails I have sent in (one vaguely) out of many. So for you to take your time to help this lady was what you are all about. Thank you for sharing. Keep up the good work, chin up, cheers! Tim
Thanks Tim
Thought I would add my 2 cents worth here – seems like the more you try to help people, the more likely you get a slap in the face from someone who just doesn’t understand how valuable constructive criticism can be.
It’s interesting that someone else mentioned this same person on other sites asking for the same help. Somehow she just is not getting the concept.
Thanks for posting everything about this situation so that we can all learn whatever lesson we need to take with us. Although you were hot to begin with, you certainly have allowed your sense of humor to bring you to a better place.
I have a feeling you will keep on helping those who request help as that is who you are. We appreciate your uniqueness and wouldn’t trade the valueable information we receive for anything in the world.
Hope your holiday weekend is going well! Take care!!!
Yes I will. Edie I woke up to along time reader being disappointed in me for it. Oh well. Nothing I can do. If he doesn’t know me by now, there’s nothing I can say to him. I refuse to bow down to rude people.
Hi Tiffany,
Just found this video and thought of you straight away…
http://youtu.be/c81bcjyfn6U
Honey Badgers rule OK!
Lauren
Lol go to YouTube and watch the one called crazy nastyass honey badger …
Hello Tiffany,
I like you! You’ve got my attention & I am going to pay more attention to you and your blog. You I believe I can trust.
Thanks,
Deb Kay
Why thank you Deb. But beware – I tend to offend here and there LOL!
There are a ton of comments here, so I’m not even going to check, but I just looked up “travelling” in the UK version of a dictionary and it is still “traveling.” I did some work where I had to revert to UK spelling for a client once, and I still would have flagged that as a typo as well.
That said, thanks for the learning experience, Tiffany!
lol I saw it on a US show today with two Ls
Hi Tiffany!
A bit behind reading your emails but I DO read them all! Well, it’s D’s loss.There’s a lot to learn here sometimes even when you might not think that. This for example clarified a question that’s been bugging me. How broad can/should my topics be with a specialized domain name. You nailed the answer for me! Thanks! Keep on being you! Love it! Good going Honey Badger!You Rock!lol!