The 4 H Rule for Connecting With Your Customers
Hi everyone! I love picking up little concepts here and there when I read or skim through magazines or catch snippets on news channels. Last night i was reading a Woman’s World magazine and there was a tiny section that stuck out to me and I wanted to share it with you because as online entrepreneurs, connecting with our customers is sometimes harder than a brick and mortar business.
This article was about the 4 H rule of thumb and when I read it, it immediately reminded me of how I like to connect with you guys. Then it hit me that so many of you have trouble opening up and making that leap from private person to open person online – with strangers, no less!
In the article, they talk about things like having spinach in your teeth (what if that happened on a webinar, for example?). You’d feel like dying – like closing down your browser and never showing your face again.
Be Honest.
The honest truth is – that happens to just about everyone at some time or another. Or if not spinach, then something else. Some other form of humiliation. I’m not the first one to cry on a video. Maybe on a webinar, but I doubt it!And even if I was, honestly – it’s not the end of the world.
We tend to exaggerate our embarrassing moments or things when really, nobody else cares. We’re magnifying it – it’s almost egotistical of us to think we’re so important that it’s going to make headline news.
Be Humble.
One thing I love about my mentor is his humble attitude. He has a mindset of serving others. He doesn’t sit there and brag to the point it’s like rubbing it in your face. Think about that for a second.
Bet you don’t even have enough fingers to count how many of those gurus brag in a way that isn’t motivational like, “I did this and you can, too!” No, they do it in more of a way like, “I’m superior – I make tons of cash and you wish you were me.”

I get it – they’re appealing to those people who like to be part of the “in crowd,” but to me, it’s just pathetic. As a grown adult – it just reeks of immaturity to me.
Be Human.
Online, your #1 goal is gaining your audience’s trust. If they can’t trust you, they won’t respect you, buy from you, or share your products with others.
How do you gain trust? Vulnerability. Openness. Humanness. You have to show you’re not some made up persona. You’re not an automated business in a box with no real person at the helm.
Humans – what are they made up of?
Emotions. Flaws. You can’t just project the perfect Stepford Housewives type personality and expect people to trust you. They need to see what all you’re made up of. So it’s okay to show anger, fear, frustration, happiness, and errors that you make along the way.
Be Humorous.
You don’t have to be a comedian here – I’m certainly not. In fact, my husband always makes fun of me because I entertain myself. I’m what’s known as a dork. I laugh at stupid things. I’m not afraid to be silly.
I know that when I see Bonnie laugh on her videos, a smile creeps across MY face. I know that when Victoria danced in her seat at the end of her 30 day vlog challenge, I was grinning ear to ear.
Be silly. Life’s too damn stuffy. Too many people hate everything about life, are always pissy and sorrowful. We need to lighten up a enjoy things a bit!

In the article, they talk about how this lady was at work when he skirt fell down. What’d she do? She came to work the next day with a name tag that said, “Yes, I’m the girl whose skirt fell down.” Everybody laughed.
When you initiate the joke and everyone’s laughing WITH you, it builds a connection. So if you have a flaw, roll with it.
Think about my nose twitch. When someone pointed it out, what if I’d never vlogged again out of embarrassment? That’d be a shame. But no, I laughed about it – still do – it’s funny! I get stressed out, I crinkle my nose!
Count Von Count appeared in the comments to count my twitches. It was all of us giggling about it.
So remember the 4 H rule whenever you’re working on building a connection with your audience. Ask yourself if you’ve been open and honest. Are you ashamed of the truth? Why? The people you’re trying to reach will respond to your honesty and humble ability to show your true journey.
Tiff
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Awesome post. It’s like you are always speaking directly to me.
Thanks for your blatant way of telling us like it is. It is most appreciated.
Now I just got to work on being a bit more humorous.
You can do it Romona!
Wow, you don’t slow down, do you?
One epic post after another!
I love your nose twitch – it’s so cute! But you hardly do it anymore =)
LOL I do it when I’m stressed. But you’re right, I’ve felt better lately, so I do it less. Just did it just now though! LOL!!
Great post! Actually, it would be awesome if you created a an eBook/course about “how to connect with your subscribers and customers”. I believe it’s the most important aspect of an online business and nobody really talks about it in a step-by-step actionable manner…
Yue! Good idea
Thanks Chad!
Years ago, cosmetics mogul Mary Kay was on stage during one of the four or five annual summer Seminars the company has for their Beauty Consultants at the Dallas Convention Center, when her skirt fell off — all the way to the floor… In front of a packed house…
You can imagine the horrified gasp from the audience!
The company president was on stage with her and immediately helped her get it back on and fastened securely.
She took it in stride, and laughed about it. In fact, she mentioned it in the following Seminars that summer.
And I have vague recollections that it also happened when she was shaking Chip Moody’s hand at some function, but don’t remember any details. (Remember Chip Moody, nice-looking WFAA anchorman who died about 10-12 years ago?)
Awww yes I remember Chip!
I think Mary needs a tighter skirt.
One thing that became very apparent as I read your post was the fact that I hardly ever see the “guru” mentalities being funny or looking carefree during their videos.
You never see a smile; they always have a gloomy look on their faces. I wonder why?
I LOVE watching your videos! You have a wonderful smile and when you laugh, I laugh too. Come to think of it, I LAUGH more on my videos since everybody chirped they like it. LOL
Want to know something strange? I dislike my laugh, yet everybody seems to comment about how wonderful it sounds.
There’s a lesson. What we feel is embarrassing, someone else looks upon it as endearing.
I still remember the first time I went to a client’s office and used their restroom. I came out of the bathroom with my dress tucked into my panties.
Oh yes I did… LOL
They were more embarrassed to tell me it was tucked than I was when it was revealed. ROFL
That’s true! Unless they’re doing the party at Playboy – then they like to show drinking shots etc. LOL
Yeah I love your laugh! Infectious.
Oh no dress in hose! LOL! Classic Bonnie
Great blog Tiffany.
My hairline was receeding by the time I was 20 and I was nearly as bald as I am now by 30. I found the best way to stop people having nasty shots at me was to make fun of myself. That killed off their venom. I have used that method for all sorts of things since.
Yep sad that we even have to do that as grown ups Peter! But it does disarm the true bullies
I think these 4 h’s are perfect for connecting with an audience, but I think they’re going to help me in social situations (which I am very uncomfortable in). Thank you for sharing.
Oh good idea Crystal. Maybe I’ll try that too.
I’m with Chad, I would love to see you create a course on connecting with your customers and subscribers.
I love the way your able to flip through a magazine and find an article and turn it into a blogging lesson here. Your amazing!
Too funny about the spinach on the teeth example. Lol
LOL I will try to create a course like that
Wow, it’s taken me five days to catch up with this post. Very true words, again. Humility, humor, honesty and human, something we should all strive for each day. I’ve never had a skirt fall down but I have found buttons on my top have somehow opened up. Usually the one that shows what I’d prefer kept private!
Oh no!