Hi everyone! What a tough weekend. Started Thursday for me, Friday was a nightmare, and Saturday I felt like someone had drained all of my happiness and energy out. Sunday I began to recover but took it slow. Here’s my video blog. I tried not to go there! Wasn’t as bad as take 1. Oh and I love the lovely nose squinch I did in the beginning and for some reason couldn’t edit out. Nervous tic that rears its ugly head more when I’m stressed.
Anyway – as I said above, Thursday was emotional, Friday ripped my heart out. Saturday I was in a state of stunned I think. And Sunday I crawled back into reality and started working very low key – a little ghostwriting and one blog post to share other good bloggers.
I don’t feel Christmasy and I wish I did. I am behind on my shopping and it’s a WEEK away. That stresses me out. I have to get it done. Today is one of my WalMarts – a literal WalMart. But I’m going early so it won’t be too bad.
I hated sending my babies off to school today. I hated having to have that talk with them about what to do IF anything like this ever happens. I want my kids armed with knowledge. I told them both to run if possible. No hiding in open spaces unless that’s an only option (like under a desk where they’ll be trapped). I told Shawn to fight back – pick up a desk and charge the person with it, tackle him, etc. IF no other option, mind you.
For Scarlett, I had to teach her the difference between a kidnapping scenario (screaming, fighting back, and drawing attention) and a gunman scenario (quiet as a mouse, running, hiding). I told her about the little boy they say ran out of the room – and she said she’d be scared to run because she’s not a faster runner. I had to talk to her about that. I told her he probably wouldn’t chase her – he’d stay in the room, but we went through what ifs. She felt better after we talked and she knew what to do.
Some people don’t do this with their children and that’s okay too. I want mine armed with what if information so they know what to do. I emphasized the positives – the teacher who hid her students in closets and lied to the gunman, the super fast response time, and most important – the extreme rarity of this ever happening.
I loved that my kids’ school sent us an email saying that yes, they do drills with the students (but won’t right on the cusp of this tragedy because this might scare some kids), and yes they have security scenarios in place – but NO, they would not tell parents what those were because then they’re not security measures.
I like that – because it’s often a parent who pulls this kind of evil shit in a custody battle or something, so I am glad they don’t tell us the procedures. I was sad that I even had to have this talk with my kids and I couldn’t get the image of what happened out of my freaking head all weekend. Still can’t. Especially now that we have the pictures of those precious babies. I imagine it – hate that I do that but I do – and it makes me so upset.
What I need is to immerse myself in my work. Today I have to head to Walmart to get Scarlett’s Christmas party gift. I also plan to get brownies because. Just because.
I’m later working on the remaining Squidoo outline orders I have and will do a PLR pack on a ClickBank product I want to create an affiliate pack for. I have to wrap some presents, get organized. Ugh just so much.
I decided I don’t want to do my planning anymore – yet. I’m keeping my planning file but I feel like I have enough planned out so far. Just like that – poof – and I backburner it. Sometimes planning itself is overwhelming and it’s well organized already and I have plenty to work with for awhile so why force it on myself?
It’s cold here right now, but will be 79 in a day or two, then back down in the 50s. Silly weather.
Take care guys…focus on the good in this world. I’m trying.