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Weekly Vlog Check In: Beware of Chin Quiver and Tears

Hi everyone! What a tough weekend. Started Thursday for me, Friday was a nightmare, and Saturday I felt like someone had drained all of my happiness and energy out. Sunday I began to recover but took it slow. Here’s my video blog. I tried not to go there! Wasn’t as bad as take 1. Oh and I love the lovely nose squinch I did in the beginning and for some reason couldn’t edit out. Nervous tic that rears its ugly head more when I’m stressed.

Weekly Vlog Check-In from Tiffany Dow

Anyway – as I said above, Thursday was emotional, Friday ripped my heart out. Saturday I was in a state of stunned I think. And Sunday I crawled back into reality and started working very low key – a little ghostwriting and one blog post to share other good bloggers.

I don’t feel Christmasy and I wish I did. I am behind on my shopping and it’s a WEEK away. That stresses me out. I have to get it done. Today is one of my WalMarts – a literal WalMart. But I’m going early so it won’t be too bad.

I hated sending my babies off to school today. I hated having to have that talk with them about what to do IF anything like this ever happens. I want my kids armed with knowledge. I told them both to run if possible. No hiding in open spaces unless that’s an only option (like under a desk where they’ll be trapped). I told Shawn to fight back – pick up a desk and charge the person with it, tackle him, etc. IF no other option, mind you.

For Scarlett, I had to teach her the difference between a kidnapping scenario (screaming, fighting back, and drawing attention) and a gunman scenario (quiet as a mouse, running, hiding). I told her about the little boy they say ran out of the room – and she said she’d be scared to run because she’s not a faster runner. I had to talk to her about that. I told her he probably wouldn’t chase her – he’d stay in the room, but we went through what ifs.  She felt better after we talked and she knew what to do.

Some people don’t do this with their children and that’s okay too. I want mine armed with what if information so they know what to do. I emphasized the positives – the teacher who hid her students in closets and lied to the gunman, the super fast response time, and most important – the extreme rarity of this ever happening.

I loved that my kids’ school sent us an email saying that yes, they do drills with the students (but won’t right on the cusp of this tragedy because this might scare some kids), and yes they have security scenarios in place – but NO, they would not tell parents what those were because then they’re not security measures.

I like that – because it’s often a parent who pulls this kind of evil shit in a custody battle or something, so I am glad they don’t tell us the procedures. I was sad that I even had to have this talk with my kids and I couldn’t get the image of what happened out of my freaking head all weekend. Still can’t. Especially now that we have the pictures of those precious babies. I imagine it – hate that I do that but I do – and it makes me so upset.

What I need is to immerse myself in my work. Today I have to head to Walmart to get Scarlett’s Christmas party gift. I also plan to get brownies because. Just because.

I’m later working on the remaining Squidoo outline orders I have and will do a PLR pack on a ClickBank product I want to create an affiliate pack for. I have to wrap some presents, get organized. Ugh just so much.

I decided I don’t want to do my planning anymore – yet. I’m keeping my planning file but I feel like I have enough planned out so far. Just like that – poof – and I backburner it. Sometimes planning itself is overwhelming and it’s well organized already and I have plenty to work with for awhile so why force it on myself?

It’s cold here right now, but will be 79 in a day or two, then back down in the 50s. Silly weather.

Take care guys…focus on the good in this world. I’m trying.

Tiff ;)

44 Responses to “Weekly Vlog Check In: Beware of Chin Quiver and Tears”

  • Bonnie Gean says:

    As you know, I was running the streets the day the tragedy happened and I was clueless about the “shooting” when it was brought to my attention.

    Once I gathered bits and pieces later on I had a big knot in my throat and tightness in my belly. I said a prayer for the families suffering from the loss and found myself wondering what the world was coming to when kids aren’t safe to attend the classroom.

    This kind of outcome really “hits home” because of a tragedy in my past. It’s not something I like to dwell on because I don’t relish that feeling of hopelessness. I get depressed easily and that’s where even the easiest daily rituals become a hardship.

    You take care of yourself, Tiffany. Shower your family with love and know that I am here for you if you need it a shoulder. And may the world become a better, safer place for all.

    Future Planning

    I am so glad you said POOF, remembering back to your post about shelving stuff that doesn’t need to be done right this minute or changed to accommodate a different schedule.

    Like you, I have plenty to keep me busy for several months in 2013. I think I’m going to revamp my schedule for what’s left this year and get a few PLR packages done before 2012 ends.

    Isn’t working at home fantastic? I love the flexibility, hehe. (Shameless plug for my latest blog post.)

    Here’s my Video #1 for our Video Sundays!
    http://www.bonniegean.com/video-sunday-episode-1/

    *hugs*
    Chin up, sweetie!

    • Tiffany says:

      I’m sorry you ad to endure something scary Bonnie :(

      I’m fine. Just when I talk about it I break down so I’m trying to concentrate on work. I went to Walmart just now and this little girl in front of me – maybe 3 years old – kept smiling at me and it just made me so happy.

      Some things are sad where you feel sadness – and some things like this just really knock the breath out of you and take longer to get over (for me anyway). Plus, if I’m already emotional (which I was) that contributes. I’m not 100% well right now either – ALL we have is this cough – no lethargy or cold symptoms, but it’s annoying and has made us all sleep a little less. It’s subsiding so soon I should be A-OK :)

  • Alena@coupon says:

    Tiffany,
    I was teaching today my son to run too. But a “zigzag” style. He is too little to understand this tragedy and I’ve tried to tell him. Then, I’ve realized that may be I need to teach him how to hide and run. Here we are…Very sad.:(

  • Yoan says:

    The video is not showing! Maybe it’s not working my end! No worries! Hope you feel better soon! Have a tonsillitis, went to the doc and have some anti-bio! Phheewww! felt drained this morning but better now! Glad you had a smile in Wallmart!! Don’t forget to smile when you push your trolley ::)!! xxx!

    • Tiffany says:

      Hmm you might be able to click through and see it on Vimeo but usually that means it’s a browser issue. Oh no! Hope you feel better Yoan.

  • Have you all seen the post called “I am Adam Lanza’s mom”?

    I understand that post too well. I’m in a mixed up position about the whole thing.

    I have two children, both girls. The younger one is emotionally disturbed – diagnosis is autism, ODD, anxiety and adhd so far.

    We believe in the right to own guns but for personal protection and hunting game, not humans.

    Because of my daughter, I understand how very, very, VERY difficult it is to get help for children like her. This last year she has displayed scary behaviors that are related to her disorders, but also related to sexual abuse.

    As a mom, I’m scared for her and of her some days.

    I don’t know what the answers are to this mess, but I applaud those of you who are educating and preparing your kids.

  • Barney says:

    I lived a long time, been trough a war, counseled in mental hospitals, have had close ones die, have survived serious health issues. But all of that makes more sense than this act of insanity.

    My smart wife doesn’t let me watch any of the coverage it is just too stressful. In the first grade my days were wonderful and innocent.

    I believe that heroes and children get a special place in heaven and they are truly happy in the class they are attending now.

  • Tamsin says:

    I can’t even imagine how those parents must be feeling. I am so glad that we home educate our children and that they are exposed to a lot less than other children, but that doesn’t mean that they are 100% safe …….. and all we can do is love them every day, show them the good in the world, but prepare them for what can go wrong. Expect the best but prepare for the worst.

    Got to admit that I’m way out of Christmas preparation mode – and still have my son’s 13th birthday to prepare for on Saturday! May be able to think more clearly after that :)

  • Richard says:

    Thanks for being you Tiff. We are as shocked numb here in Canada as y’all are there, not- with-standing one of those children is the daughter of a very gifted Canadian musician.

    I’ve not been able to write much because my heart is so heavy. When I think of how innocence can be yanked into a twisted fate so fast, it becomes overpowering for a time. I think folks are going to re-visit your 2nd Amendment.

    Having said that, there isn’t much protection against true misguided evil except love.

  • Sam says:

    Hi Tiffany:
    Great post today. When a tragedy like what happened on Friday hits us all so suddenly, it seems like the whole world becomes upside down. One thing it does do is make us all realize how precious our beautiful kids are and that we should give them a BIG HUG each and every day and tell them how much we love them. We just don’t do that enough. I know that HONEY is giving you some good comfort by just having her there with you. Take Care, Sam

  • We are all suffering pain from the Connecticut tragedy. It’s hard to convince or allow myself Christmas cheer when I know families are grieving. I just can’t imagine what these parents are going through. My life would never be the same without my precious children, although, in college. Maybe this feeling is a maternal or paternal instinct. Our brains won’t allow our body’s to move forward. We grieve, because our fellow men and women are grieving.

    I also heard a story today on television about how the media played over and over during the 911 tragedy. How the continuous coverage of planes crashing into the towers over and over again. We felt repeated trauma, and people were experiencing post traumatic stress disorder.

    I unglued myself from the TV today, to limit my exposure and ventured out in the freezing, slippy rain today. Then the sewer backed up and the town was called to fix what I thought was the sewer pump, but was a clog in sewer pipes. We live in a townhouse.

    Anyway, This is so tough to watch the families talk about their children. Now we get to know the names and faces of those kids and adults. Tears…

    Tiffany, you are a good parent, and what you did with your children before they went to school today was help them think and taught them how to respond. That is what I do.

    Jenn Alex, I read that post floating around the internet “I am Adam Landz” mom. Sent shivers up my spine. I too deal with similar issues, My son is the most problematic. He has executive dysfunction from his ADHD, Tourette’s, OCD and explosive behaviors. My family isn’t threatened by our son, because I use collaborative problem solving. I can’t say for sure, but my guess is Adam Landz’s mom felt threatened at some point during her son’s life with mental illness and she may have lacked the knowledge how to control his behavior or when to report them (right away).

  • Ruth P says:

    Hi Tiff, I understand how you feel and why it was so hard for you. In the UK we feel the same, even though it happened so far away. I have found it very difficult watching the news too much.

    Seems like you made a good decision on the planning. You have PLENTY to work on, that’s for sure! I, on the other hand, need to get over my jetlag and get my brain in gear for 2013. Also, I haven’t even bought any Christmas gifts (except some souvenirs) and I’m freaking out a bit!

    Here are my latest two vlogs – I am behind in the 30 day vlog challenge but I’m going to catch up. These last two, I have to confess, are not very exciting so you might want to skip them haha!

    http://www.theinternetdream.com/congratulations-vlog-day-15/

    http://www.theinternetdream.com/im-back-and-im-not-with-it-vlog-day-16/

  • Bring on 2013 – this past year has just been way too tough for most of us. It’s been a culmination of things,and I’m so tired of crying for the tragedies the world has endured.

    Working hard to stay positive and to be optimistic about what lies ahead in personal and professional areas.

    Planning and goalsetting notes —
    The best thing that has happened for me this last year is that my dad recovered from his health crisis, and I’m recovering from my resultant CFS relapse, and that I finally managed to get a start on my PLR business again, and have achieved publishing 3 books online at amazon with another 1 on the way this week when Sue is done with the submission.

    I started working on the CFS book two years ago, so its been a long process for me to finally get it to print.

    I don’t know if this is appropriate – but I haven’t got the focus/energy yet to be doing the full-on promotion of the CFS book, only I want to tell everyone here about it, so can I make a start by posting the page here to it @ amazon?

    How to Beat Chronic Fatigue Syndrome…and get your life back!

    If any readers here would like me to email them a review ebook copy, just email me on the website form (Malmsio above is a site link) otherwise a Like on top of the amazon page would be much appreciated, if you like the look of the book.

    I had set myself huge complex plans for 2012, but those above are the important achievements.

    Next year my goals will be much more simple from the very start:
    1) loading on to my how-to site the vast stock of my PLR article packs that have been building up on my dashboard for 2 years – and

    2) continuing to publish my books on amazon (thanks to massive help from Jeni, Sue and Rich)

    3) That’s all… the rest of my time and effort in 2013 will be dedicated to getting my overall health and life back on track – it will be very much a “me” year – which will be a novel learning curve.

    I have been saying this is the “top goal” for the past 4 years, and maybe next year I will actually stick to it for once!

    … as they say, if you don’t have health to enjoy it, nothing else you have matters much.

    I also wanted to share some thoughts today on the Christmas season, to try and bring a smile to some readers faces:

    THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.

    Dear God:
    I bet it is hard for you to love everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.

    Dear God:
    Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.

    “Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words.”
    – Harlan Miller

    • Tiffany says:

      Of course you can share the link! Went and Liked it for you Helene. Good luck with it! And on your health goals. :)

      • Thank you Tiff, very much appreciated.

        I messed up my profile link in the message above, (it’s weird, it goes to a strange site that takes advantage of any wwwhttp mistakes in links by the look of it) – so if anyone would like a review copy of the book please go to the link on my name above – Thanks!

  • Jenn says:

    Events like that make you see how the world has changed and is still changing and not for the better. All we can do is what we can do – love each other and others and trust God.

    My vlog is here – http://www.jennifervalerie.com/2012/12/30-day-water-challenge-report-week-1.html

  • Mary says:

    Tiff –

    Very proud of you for facing a difficult situation and addressing it pragmatically, realistically, but with heartfelt regret at having to do so.

    Simply wishing something away isn’t going to protect your children should the unthinkable happen. We prepare our children with fire drills and family safety plans – why should this new reality be any different?

    I too am an advocate of facing things head on and bracing ourselves — and our families — to be prepared as best as possible. This means being vigilant about maintaining situational awareness and having exit strategies at all times.

  • Pamela says:

    Hi Tiffany,

    I must say I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the events of the last few days as well.

    I love this quote by Wayne Dyer, ” When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

    When I heard one of the family members of one of the victims say through his tears… we have to remember the family of the shooter as well, because I am sure they are going through a difficult time right now too ( paraphrased)…

    I thought… what compassion and courage.

    Three positive things I think have happened in light of this tragedy:

    1: A more enlightened and serious conversation about guns in our society from both sides.

    2: We hold the children and all those we love in our lives a little closer more often

    3: A new spotlight is on children with mental illness and how the system is sometimes failing them… and why they and their families need us.

    This won’t bring those victims back, but hopefully it will prevent this happening again, and give all of us some hope for the future.

    • Tiffany says:

      Totally agree about the kids and mental illness. I do feel sorry for the killers’ family – especially the brother wrongly identified. Nightmare!

  • Hi Tiff,

    I know that the events that took place are just incredible and shocking. I was reading a blog by the two Aussie girls, Paula and Wanda and their latest post was about negativity in our lives. They talk about how negatives affect us and make it more difficult to attract prosperity and good things into our lives.

    The article stresses avoiding negative people and goes on to say that they haven’t watched the news in years. They don’t want to get sucked into the doom and gloom which the media presents us nearly non-stop. Anyhow its an interesting post: http://www.affiliateblogonline.com/2012/12/16/christmas-giveaway-the-power-and-the-magic/

    It touched me because I decided to avoid having my life affected so deeply by negative influences such as the news that I can’t change. What I can change is me and that’s a full time job. Whew! Thanks Tiff for sharing your life so openly.

    • Tiffany says:

      Oh I couldn’t go without watching the news. LOL! Maybe turn it off once I catch up but not watching wouldn’t suit me. Love Paula and Wanda though – great ladies!

  • Hey Tiff, great video. Isn’t it interesting that you are down on what you call ‘tics’ and you say that they are ‘ugly’, but they aren’t AND you never mention any of mine (and I have dozens lol).

    I recorded and posted my catch-up vlog here http://www.pauldwilliams.com/2012/author-vlog-day-24/ BUT please be advised that it is 37 minutes long. I found myself opening up about a whole bunch of things and I just went with it. So if you want to know what I have struggled with in my latest novel; what happened at the old folks’ home; why I think I might delete my novel’s beginning and start over in the wake of Sandy Hook; the book club chat hangout that I’m going to be starting up in the new year; and other things…. then please, come over and watch the video.

    Luckily G+ Hangouts On Air video quality is not quite clear enough that you’ll be able to see if I really did shed a few tears or not… :-)

  • I turned the news off as soon as I heard about it. I can’t deal with it… every time I walk by someone watching a video about it I start crying. One of those days where I’m glad I don’t have cable.

    I’ll get a vlog up once I get some time to get out of bed and get dressed. I mentioned it on Twitter earlier but I managed to hurt my back. It was more sore than usual for a few days and then all of a sudden it hurt too bad to even get out of bed. We had to pull out the wheel chair to get me to the car to go to the ER. Doc says to stay laying in bed until my appointment tomorrow afternoon. It’s hard to even type laying down. >_< Decided to just read blogs from my tablet instead.

  • Mary Kathan says:

    Hi Tiffany

    I think it is great that you gave your daughter a plan on what to do if anything would ever happen around her. If I was a kid these days, I think a plan would help give me a feeling of power and alleviate fear. (That is just my personal opinion and I am not a professional in anything about kids or their minds).

    Also – I notice that you choose one category for each post you do. Is that strategic? I was wondering because I tend to click on several categories when I make a post and wonder if maybe I should not be doing that??

    Thanks – Have a Good Day

    Mary

  • hagar says:

    I typed half a book here (you know I do that) and at the end of it, decided that while it was good stuff – it was veering around what I really wanted to say. Cowardice, I reckon. So… (deeep breath)
    Love you, Tiff. You’re fine. Your kids are fine. Your readers are fine.
    And the crazies can wound us, scare us, make us sad – but they can’t win.
    That’s what I wanted to say.

  • I’m a little late on the weekly vlog. Considering the tragic event over the weekend, last minute cleaning and christmas shopping that stalled me.

    Here it is: SEO Business Outsourcing.

    http://www.plrasset.com/2012/12/18/649/

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